It had to happen eventually. I am going to get on my soap box.
The new Unicef report that comments on the culture of "compulsive consumerism" and states that parents basically should spend time with their child - not throw money at them, is hardly rocket science ???
Or is it to some ???
I struggle with this concept - I have not read the full report and have only seen a summary - but it looks like they have collected evidence from those parents who feel guilty that they are going to work - so they then spend money on the kids - yet if they spent time at home they would not have to spend that money and not feel guilty and then the cycle would be broken?
I know... I know ... there are many out there who HAVE to work to pay the mortgage etc. and I do sympathise with this scenario .... and yet .... there is more to the report than that.
More than one parent stated they felt they could not say "no" to their child when that child (aged anywhere from 3 - 7 years old) whined on about a particular new technological gadget/toy that he/she absolutely HAD to have because "everyone else has it!"
JUST SAY NO !!!
Seriously - is this because parents feel they need to keep up with all the other parents ..... creating some sort of culture that continuously spirals, with increasing growth in competitiveness ???
I don't know whether it is this - or maybe the instincts of parents have been undermined by information overload and they just don't know any more what is the best advice or how to parent ? (I am not saying I know best - honestly - and I have made many, many parenting cock-ups - but not in this area!)
SO - Can they not show their child the benefits of anti-consumerism ?
Say no to the requests for the latest toys (if you can afford them then fair enough) - honestly - it really isn't that hard and the first few times you do it you will actually gain a sense of relief ! I genuinely thought it obvious to parents that the children will be far happier if you spent time with them creating a treasure hunt or playing a board game or even just sitting watching a Disney DVD with them
I have lived in a 1 bedroomed flat and I have been a single Mum - I had nothing so they got nothing - but we did so many things together - like blackberry picking !!!
A completely free activity (that Daniel informed me he has no recollection of) BUT at the time they loved it - even getting scratched by the brambles and avoiding the spider webs - SIMPLE and FREE and only an hour or 2 for a couple of times a year but another one of those annual events that strengthen families.
I mention this as I picked some today whilst walking the dog - it bought back some very happy memories and I am sure that these are probably viewed through rose tinted glasses but I really want to say to all those parents out there who feel they have to compete - DON'T!
Just do these little things that mean so much - take back your parent power too. It is OK to upset your child every now and then by telling them they can't necessarily have x, y or z - they will not shatter but they will begin to understand that not everyone can have everything and that in itself is an important lesson to learn.
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