Migraines

They are a nightmare!             I think I suffer with them. 


I actually have not been officially diagnosed by the doc - and probably should check this out - but having self medicated for 7 or 8 years in a manner that seems to work, I am reasonably happy. 


I know I get headaches that if not caught in time lead to me actually being physically sick. I don't get the "lights" but I do get an "aura" They are definitely stress related as I suffer less when not stressed but they are also hormonally related - you know what I mean !


Anyway - I now have a list of triggers .... 14 of them ...... and I try to be aware of a build up of any of these 14, as it seems to be a mix of any 3 together that can trigger an attack.


Seriously .... that is easier said than done !


There I am, visiting a couple of friends and they offer A COFFEE - simple - I forget to check if it is decaffeinated - add that to ... say ... a late night the night before and then some glorious unexpected sunshine (yes .... tell me about it ...... I am a major sun worshipper ... and one of my triggers is sunshine!) and BANG - I get the blitz ! 


I do try to monitor myself .... really I do .... but you can see my difficulty. 


Needless to say I nearly ended up with a migraine tonight - thankfully I also know the warning signs so I can take a tablet in time to ward it off but, as I stated, with at least 14 triggers and any combination of any 3 it is pretty hard to keep on top of.


I therefore buy several packs of my tablets in a year. So, when I popped to my local pharmacy to pick up some more tablets today, I noticed that on this occasion the pharmacist did not do the usual spiel of:

"have you taken these before" 
"are you taking any other medication" and 
"don't take any more than x in 24 hours"


I came to the conclusion that she is fed up with asking me and must think she knows me well enough by now !!!

I am an Indian Summer

As I was walking Harley, on this beautiful sunny day, it occurred to me that I am now entering the "Autumn" phase of my life.


I have, for a long time, looked at life's age stages as being similar to the seasons of a year - as do many others.


For example:


Aged 0-22 (ish) is like the Springtime - new life, growth, development,  a freshness and enthusiasm, as we begin to blossom.


Aged 22 - 45 is the Summer period - you blossom, mature, are often full of activity (with young children probably) and yet still with calm, hot, sunny moments to be savoured.


Then you enter the Autumn months, gloriously bold with fabulous colours, probably a little fuller of figure than you would like ..... but compare that with the ripening of the harvest! You are ready for Grand-parenthood where you don't have to be on call 24/7 but can enjoy quality time with grandchildren! Halloween, Fireworks, Duvet Days!


Finally, you head for the Winter years - aged 70+ and still can be full of surprises, like Christmas, New Year or perhaps just that spattering of snow that brings about a youthful playfulness in us all!


So .......... according to my calculations, I am at the beginning of the Autumn phase. 


I have decided that I intend to embrace this wholeheartedly. With age comes a certain confidence - I don't have to "compete" any more with those youngsters who are busy building careers, families, lifestyles. 


OK ..... that bit about careers ..... right now I don't actually have a career and am building my business again - but I don't HAVE to earn as much ...... it would be nice ...... but not necessary ..... (I am no longer paying a huge amount for school fees!)


I have enough confidence to "be myself". 


I have made my great friends for life (and hope to be a good enough friend to keep them). Of course more friends would still be lovely but I am comfortable with those that I have and comfortable in the knowledge that they truly know me.


Like the glorious bold, autumn colours I can be a little bold in my outlook. 


Yes ..... I am lucky to have a home, food in my cupboards and  grown children of whom I am proud and who are moving on with their lives, so my outlook reflects that. I am not boasting, just "glowing" and looking forward to the breath of fresh air that (I hope) is grand-parenthood.


Yet I am also still aspiring to do more - I am not ready to be "put out to pasture" - I think I can do something with the business. I hope to be able to help my children still as and when they may need it. I intend to complete items from my LIST..........


So, like today ..... I may be in the Autumn phase but will certainly aim to have some sunny, warm days ... that may spring a surprise .... just as an Indian Summer can !

Turn it UP !!

OK ..... so this is an extra one...... Relating to my exciting afternoon at Gina's house!

I was on my way to Gina's for a coffee, when we got a phone call from her fiancé who mentioned that a neighbour had complained about the music he was playing and that it was too loud.

This was at 1pm on a Saturday afternoon - he was working on his car - it was a sunny afternoon and many other people would probably also have been enjoying the sunshine with the radio on ! 

Anyway - we turned up - pulled onto the drive and I opened my car door.  I noted that the music was (to me) quite reasonable  ....... and then we noticed the Police car as it pulled up behind us.

I ask you .... seriously ..... WTF !!!!

Have they nothing more serious to do on a Saturday afternoon ??? 
Is it just an easy target ??? 
Does it mean less paperwork if they deal with a MINOR complaint? 
Were they bored?? 
All sorts of questions came into my head.

As it transpired the complaint was from one neighbour JUST ONE, and not even the one who lived directly next door to them. 


Now, I am all for consideration for neighbours and Gina ..... of all 3 of my children ....... is and, always has been, the one who tells everyone at 11pm to "turn the music down" but ..... perlease ..... this was a SATURDAY AFTERNOON ....... not an evening ... not early morning ... not late at night ... not a party ... just a car radio that, as I pulled up, I would not have considered loud.

Instead of calming the situation down (as I understood the Police are supposed to do) they actually inflamed it, coming in all guns blazing - talking in a very patronising manner to Jamie and yes .......... I was listening (and commenting under my breath!) !

At the point where the policeman mentioned giving Jamie "a ticket" it was questioned that surely to reach the point of giving said ticket, the environmental health team should come and check noise levels ....... they backed down a little ....... and then - (this is the bit where I lose it) stated they had "checked with the neighbours, who agreed that there was a BIT of noise" 


THE POLICE ARE LIARS ........ I WAS THERE ......  where is the evidence !


They checked with about 3 neighbours - one of whom approached us after the Police had gone and said :
"just want to let you know our family and the family next door to us, did not report you - we actually told them we never hear anything from you ----- I thought they were going to tell me that it was my husband's subs that were too loud. We reckon we know who did though ... and she has complained about (someone else) before " QUOTE. 


We obviously knew who the complainant was, as she had approached Jamie, and yes - this neighbour had guessed correctly.

The Police did not even visit Gina and Jamie's immediate neighbour who has never had an issue with noise etc. and later admitted he was gob-smacked that a complaint had been made!

So ok ....... perhaps the kids pissed off this one woman BUT WHY OH WHY did the Police:


a) Waste precious time when they keep stating they are pushed for resources yet they can send a car with 2 officers out ..... because someone makes a complaint about noise at 1pm on a Saturday afternoon?
b) Go in all guns blazing and make an instant judgement against Jamie?
c) LIE ???????

• They can't manage to attend when Dan has been mugged - in fact a POLICE CAR was passing AS he was being mugged - fact
• They can't prosecute a mugger (on another occasion) when Dan identified the lad (who is now being charged with  a firearm offence) -fact
• They can't attend when Jamie's car windows were smashed and damaged with a hammer (the car was a write off) - fact
• They can't attend when Jamie etc. were being chased in a road rage incident for over an hour (until I told the Police that it was OK and the kids were coming home and my Hubby was outside with a pickaxe in each hand - didn't even give my address, and funnily enough they then turned up in 10 minutes!) - fact

BUT NO ....... a middle aged woman calls up and complains about nuisance noise at 1pm on a Saturday afternoon .......... oh give me strength !!!!

Like I have said before - I could write a book about our encounters with the boys in blue and you know what ...... sadly ..... my opinion of them does not get any better !

Transitions !

Changes.          They can be good - even if slightly scary !


I heard that one of the "Dirty Dozen" passed his driving test yesterday.      I sent my congratulations! 


Its not just about them growing up - it includes all the responsibilities of adulthood that suddenly come to these "children". Wriggles was about 10 years old when we first met him ..... now, he is a new driver and one of the group going off to Uni. He will do well.


We have had a few days of sad farewells ...... but we should remember that these are only farewells NOT goodbyes - we will see much of the group again (not just the "Dirty Dozen" but the "Magnificent 7" and the "Famous 5") at Christmas and no doubt my Dan will pop down to see various of his friends at Uni over party filled weekends !


The Dirty Dozen were a particular group that practically lived at my house at weekends through the years of 2009 and 2010. When hubby and I went on Holiday to Egypt, over the period of my birthday, I came home to the most fabulous birthday present - which was that the group had re-decorated my bathroom !


I know what some of you re thinking, ..... yes they did have parties ..... but no they didn't HAVE to redo the bathroom, it was a genuine gift!


They had taken up the moth eaten old carpet and replaced with nice new grey fleck vinyl flooring. New towel rack with new matching towels, new mirror, new loo seat in matching grey, new loo roll holder, new shower curtain, NEW BATH,  and completely redecorated - painting with a light, charcoal type grey that all just fitted perfectly!


They had all played their part, the boys perhaps doing a little more of the practical stuff - and they even paid a plumber to install and plumb in the new bath. 


That was 2 years ago and I still have the wrapping paper on the door that they put up as my birthday wrapping !


That was a good change. 


I have always said to them that parties were OK as long as I came back to the house intact, nothing out of place and no major injuries. I know they moved the furniture upstairs on one occasion to ensure the safety of ..... just everything! - but on each of  the few occasions when  hubby and I have gone away, I have returned to a house actually cleaner than when we left. 


The first time we went away was on our honeymoon when Jess was 18, Gina 16 and Dan 14.


They were still at school and Jess made sure they got in to school every day! The grandparents and their Uncle and Aunt were only just down the road and my good friends popped in to make sure they were not just eating takeaways but on the whole they and their friends were responsible and sorted, an acknowledgement that they were all good kids - not just my 3 - and would all do well in the future.


So these transitions are a part of life's rich tapestry. They start from the smallest of adventures (going to pre-school and school for the first time). Begin to take on more significance as we change to upper schools, move house, sometimes lose those we love, change friendships and continue to take on those major transitions of Uni, moving in with partners and having our own children.


SCARY yes ..... but good !!!             


Roots and Wings - these are your WINGS !

Cats and Dogs

We have, in our household, a cat and a dog. The cat came first. This cat has endured a whole pack of dogs in his lifetime - when Harley and Billie mated there were 5 pups. 2 of which we kept so for a few months we had 7 dogs and for over a year we had 4 dogs.


Now in this position a lesser elderly feline may have shied away. No - not our Scamp. 


He is now 13 years old and every now and then looks like he could be on his last legs ...when suddenly a little "scampish" light comes into his eyes and he becomes like a skittish kitten again - ready to stand his ground or play with the dogs.


And when I say play .... I do mean play!


Soon after the Puppies were born, it was pretty chaotic in the house with 7 dogs. I would carry on with housework as ever and be followed about the house by 7 little hangers on .... honestly ... it was worse than having 3 toddlers - I couldn't even go to the loo alone !!!


One day I was doing the laundry - taking the dirty washing from upstairs down to the washing machine, taking the clean ironed piles of clothes to each of the children's rooms e.t.c. This involved several trips up and down the stairs. The cat watched with interest   ....... several trips occurred with the dogs following me, up and down each time.


I was downstairs ..... when the cat decided it was playtime.


He casually sauntered up to one of the steps and streeeeettched out, across the whole step - yes - the whole of the step - and he just lay there. I came back up the stairs and naturally just stepped over him. 


You could see the panic in the dogs eyes ....... "oh no ...... what do we do now ....... which way do we go" !! 


They hopped up and down the steps below the cat - moved from one end of a stair step to the next - and could not fathom out what to do!!! Backwards and forwards !


I stopped to watch this process and swear the cat had a huge smile .... he was certainly purring as he licked his paws. I continued up and down several more times and the cat just wallowed in his own superiority !!! He eventually relented and sauntered back off the staircase with the dogs watching him with awe.


When it came to feeding time, the cat was still in charge. 


Now that Jess and Gina have moved out they have taken their dogs with them but we still have Harley. Today I fed them both - Scamp always eats first - Harley patiently waits in the hallway. This is not something we have trained him to do although we did always feed the cat first - but he will sit and either wait for me to actually call him or wait until the cat has finished.


Today, the cat decided what was in Harley's bowl was infinitely more interesting than in his own. He finished his bowl ...... sauntered over to Harley (who had just started eating)  and growled ...... honestly actually growled !!! Harley thought about it for a minute - both had their heads in Harley's bowl and then Harley acknowledged the cat's hierarchical position and bowed down to him !! 


This time I watched in awe ! 
Oh ..... and he even caught and bought in a mouse yesterday !!! 

Duvet Days

Before these "days" were given this accepted name - we were doing them. 


Not often. Probably only a couple of days a year as the kids grew older, but just those days when you need a DAY !


Now, when I say we ...... I do mean the children and me. This blog will not be popular with those in authority because ...... yes .......... I allowed the children to have a day or two off school !!!


Now - let's get this in perspective - it started 18 years ago with Jess's first year in the 4 plus unit. Of course at that point in my life I really did have every excuse going (having just been widowed), to have one of those days when I could not get up and organised. Then again, I did not really have to - with Gina and Dan not even at pre-school ! 


I would wake up (particularly in the bad weather of winter) and just not WANT to DO anything! 


Thankfully, even at such young ages, my children were mega film fans - Disney of course!


So I would settle us all on the sofa, prepare snacks and drinks, and we would snuggle up together with the duvet across us, to watch 3 or 4 videos for the whole day! Bliss !!


Of course I would feel a little guilty afterwards and think about the things we could have got done in the day, or that the children may have learned at school but, you know ....... I really do not think it has done them any harm !!!


As they grew older and all of them were at school it happened less and less. 


However - again let me get this in perspective - they were hardly ever ILL !!! Honestly, my 3 generally had healthy robust constitutions - not many colds, rarely sick and I only recall having to pick them up from school early a couple of times!


Another couple of things to remember is also that, with this understanding (that I would allow Duvet days), came the responsibility on them of NOT faking it - I am sure they probably did pull the wool over my eyes a couple of times but genuinely ..... if they wanted a day they would ask for this "duvet" day and, depending on circumstances I would usually grant it - it worked for us. It gave us as a family a lot more openness and honesty than those that fake a sickie. 


It probably helped that we were all BIG fans of "Ferris Buellers Day Off" so I knew all the tricks anyway LOL !!!


Now the girls are at work and have an excellent work ethic - Dan has yet to find employment but has only been looking since beginning of September choosing to have a good "last" summer  before starting work.


So I am a big fan of a couple of days a year being allocated as "Duvet days" ..... you feel naughty enough to work extra hard the next day but you are healthy enough not to have lost a day sick! It may not work for everyone but it did for us!


And believe me - when you have precious moments snuggled up with your children ..... laughing, crying, interacting with a good film ..... it really doesn't get much better!  

Ahhh these are the days .....

It's 12.30am and I know I am going to suffer in the morning but it has been a great night ..... not that we have exactly done much ..... but we have a full house again and noise and chaos!


I will not suffer with a hangover - I am not drunk - I may suffer from a bit of tiredness as I do intend to get up early to watch the Rugby ..... but if too tired ... I can sleep in !


No - I will suffer the clean up tomorrow and be very happy about it !


We have friends coming to stay over tomorrow night but  tonight the house looks like a bomb has hit it. We have Jess, Ayden (prob going home soon) Dan, Nikki, Hani, Chris and Rachel staying over tonight ..... before they all go their own separate ways to Uni - it has been brill!


I will re-visit this blog entry tomorrow or Sunday and will probably bemoan the amount of time it has taken to clean the Kitchen ... the stain of spilt beer on the carpet in the Office ... the  empty cans/bottles and pizza boxes ... but right here - right now - it's great!


G'night all x

Hakuna Matata

Means "No Worries" !!!!


As I am getting older I think I am worrying less - don't get me wrong - there are a million things I could worry about and I will always be hoping for the best for my children - but somehow - I am stressing less about those everyday things that used to drive me nuts ..... or make me worry at night and not sleep!


I have no job - I have no money - I am still not yet panicking - I have some work booked and hopefully that will be a small start ..... yet 3 sessions of training is still not going to pay the mortgage - so why am I so chilled ???


Is it my wonderful husband ....... naah ..... maybe his laid back attitude has rubbed off a little ......?


Is it that my children have shown how capable they really are and are all doing well ...... could be ......?


Is it that my parents are also more chilled as they grow older and that they are definitely leading the way - in just enjoying LIFE - being happy with all the grandchildren and getting their priorities sorted ..... probably .....?


I think it is a mixture of all of these things ...... and my own realisation that throughout life's trials and tribulations I have always come up smiling in the end ..... maybe not necessarily smiling - but not far off !!!


Also I have finally reached the conclusion that worrying really does make NO difference. 


I can worry about some little thing, or even some big things  .......... but the outcome will not change just because I am worrying !!!


Why has it taken 45 years to realise this? Maybe that's the nature of life and another one of those insights that come with age.


I was walking the dogs with Jess, Dan and Kieran .....(all the best blog thoughts come from walking the dogs ...... the one about fighting the zombies will come out eventually Sarah !!!)


Kieran is going to Uni soon - we will miss him. I recall all the worrying I did before Jess went - it seems like a lifetime ago now and she is back home - well, back in Bedford. 


Got a job. Having a baby. It's all working out well. 


The same with Gina - she got a good job. Now living with her fiancé. All working out well. 


When Greg and I used to take Harley for a walk together, our conversations were always about the "what ifs", how to guide the children or what to do if x/y/z happened .....


All wasted energy and no need for it ..... 


So for now ..... its Hakuna Matata  ..... and I really am quite content  - what will be will be.  I have truly learnt to accept the things I cannot change ........ for the moment at least !!!!

Blackberry picking and parent power

It had to happen eventually. I am going to get on my soap box.


The new Unicef report that comments on the culture of "compulsive consumerism" and states that parents basically should spend time with their child - not throw money at them, is hardly rocket science ???


Or is it to some ???


I struggle with this concept - I have not read the full report and have only seen a summary -  but it looks like they have collected evidence from those parents who feel guilty that they are going to work - so they then spend money on the kids -  yet if they spent time at home they would not have to spend that money and not feel guilty and then the cycle would be broken?


I know... I know ... there are many out there who HAVE to work to pay the mortgage etc. and I do sympathise with this scenario .... and yet ....  there is more to the report than that. 


More than one parent stated they felt they could not say "no" to their child when that child (aged anywhere from 3 - 7 years old) whined on about a particular new technological gadget/toy that  he/she absolutely HAD to have because "everyone else has it!"


JUST SAY NO !!! 


Seriously - is this because parents feel they need to keep up with all the other parents ..... creating some sort of culture that continuously spirals, with increasing growth in competitiveness ??? 


I don't know whether it is this - or maybe the instincts of parents have been undermined by information overload and they just don't know any more what is the best advice or how to parent ? (I am not saying I know best - honestly - and I have made many, many parenting cock-ups - but not in this area!) 


SO - Can they not show their child the benefits of anti-consumerism ? 


Say no to the requests for the latest toys (if you can afford them then fair enough) - honestly - it really isn't that hard and the first few times you do it you will actually gain a sense of relief !  I genuinely thought it obvious to parents that the children will be far happier if you spent time with them creating a treasure hunt or playing  a board game or even just sitting watching a Disney DVD with them 


I have lived in a 1 bedroomed flat and I have been a single Mum - I had nothing so they got nothing - but we did so many things together - like blackberry picking !!! 


A completely free activity (that Daniel informed me he has no recollection of) BUT at the time they loved it - even getting scratched by the brambles and avoiding the spider webs - SIMPLE and FREE and only an hour or 2 for a couple of times a year but another one of those annual events that strengthen families.


I mention this as I picked some today whilst walking the dog - it bought back some very happy memories and I am sure that these are probably viewed through rose tinted glasses but I really want to say to all those parents out there who feel they have to compete - DON'T!


Just do these little things that mean so much -  take back your parent power too. It is OK to upset your child every now and then by telling them they can't necessarily have x, y or z - they will not shatter but they will begin to understand that not everyone can have everything and that in itself is an important lesson to learn.

Spiders

Spiders. Why ????


Just WHY !!!


I know the science, I know they are actually good for the environment ... they kill bugs ... flies etc .... stuff like that BUT eurgh ..... why do they have to grow BIG.


I can cope with the little ones - even the ones that have teeny bodies but long legs .......... it's the GREAT big house spiders that just give me the creeps. 


When we lived in the flat we had "Monster" and "Son of Monster" ..... actually there must have been a whole massive family because I am sure I killed them both ..... several times !!!


Back then ..... Gina was the one with no fear - even though she was only 5 - if I ever needed anything from the dreaded cupboard under the stairs (where the spider family lived) my daughter would volunteer as she just loved to be helpful. 


I did consider that this may be a touch cruel - child exploitation and all that - but who am I to stunt a child's natural helpful nature!!


Sadly (for me, definitely!) as she got older her fear grew and she joined me, Jess and Dan in that "fear factor".


So ..... how did 4 scaredy cats deal with the BIG ..... welly boot wearing, ..... muscle flexing, ..... chain-saw brandishing ..... mega spiders ..... that always crawl inside the house at this time of year??


Hmmmm, the next bit may offend or upset the spider lovers among you out there so - if you are of a nervous disposition then I suggest you look away ......................


Hairspray. Yep. Just. Hairspray.


The biggest fear we seem to have is the quick crawling away and the fear that if we don't squish them quick enough then they will disappear - never to be seen again - apart from to scare the living daylights out of us one dark and spooky night !


Hairspray makes the teeny weeny hairs on their legs stick together so they can't run !!! So we then squish them in the safe and secure knowledge that we can actually get them !!! 


Of course ..... there are still those mega mega spiders ..... yes the chainsaw wielding ones ....... they need more than just a quick spray - we have been known to be armed with a can each (Gina even brandishing a spray can in each hand) chasing a spider round a room as if our lives depended on it !!!!! 


Yet usually ..... with a coordinated effort - spraying in synchronisation - we have always managed to slow them down enough to then squish. 


And thus .... we are the true survivors !!!! So ..... to all those spiders out there reading this blog - don't even venture into our home ..... we will get you !!!!

Friday Fish 'n Chips

Many families have their own routines, whether they are daily, weekly, monthly or annual. 


I can track back through our photo albums and know that every year some things remain absolutely stable. Not just the standard Christmas and Easter celebrations - but Sunday Lunches, the Harvest auction at church, the Summer Fete. 


Some of these events go back to my own childhood. On Fridays after school we always went to my Gran's for tea. Saturday mornings were spent at my Granny's where she would indulge her grandchildren with comics, jaffa cakes and coke (a real treat for us then). Christmas was a big family thing and Boxing Day was always spent at my Aunt Esther's with Uncle Fred entertaining everyone with really really bad jokes!


 And ..... even fish and chips .... although for us it was usually a Monday after Ballet lessons!


Obviously we went through the stage where we grew a little distant as teenagers and young adults. Then we had our own children and Mark and I rejoined and embraced the idea of family routines and "traditions". 


The annual Easter Egg hunt in Grandy's back garden, Saturday French stick and cheese at Nanny's house, before Dad (Mark) would go to cricket (in the Summer) or Rugby (in the Winter) and delicious Sunday lunch at Grandy and Grandpa's.


Then August 25th happened. The day Mark was killed in a car crash. The blog for the whole of that story may be told another time but it will probably take several blogs just to cover the emotions.


Life changed. Everything changed. Nothing would ever feel the same again.


BUT ..... I had a 4 year old, a toddler aged 2 and a 4 month old baby. Life has to go on - and it does.


This is when the family traditions and routines became SO important - Children need stability and in our case their stability had been ripped away. This is where Friday Fish  n Chips became a constant event in our lives.


The younger ones would sit on the counter as Grandpa gave the order and the older ones would help carry the bags back as the chippy was only a short walk from Grandy and Grandpa's house. As the children grew .... even the Fish and Chip shop joined in - regular little treats for them all ..... Christmas and Easter gifts. 


This continued for my brother and sister-in-law's children too and as the grandchildren have grown they have learnt so much at this dinner table. 


Table manners, conversation, debate, teasing, family jokes ..... just so much more than can be listed here! If the  children were a little naughty they would even know it and plonk themselves on the naughty step!  


Nowadays, Grandy and Grandpa have extended their generosity to the boyfriends and girlfriends. We can't all sit around the table so the younger generation sit in the conservatory but are still able to join in, they all know the hierarchy of who gets served first for desserts !


And this is the kind of yucky smalchy gooey stuff that bonds a family together.


It is so important to give a child roots and wings .......... These are the roots !

Dan's coming home !

Dan has been on holiday for the last 2 weeks - we really have had an empty nest (apart from his best bud's visit - See previous blog!!!)


I have really missed him ... and his girlfriend.


When I was walking Harley earlier I was reminiscing over some of the things he has put me through.


Dan was always determined and constantly called my bluff - I used to be able to get by with bribery and corruption and occasionally a minor threat or 2 with the girls. Danny would just push that little bit further !


One wonderful incident occurred when he was 6 years old.


THE SCHOOL RUN - the dreaded school run as a single mum trying to get them all ready early in the morning and get myself to work by 8.30am.


The girls were always great ....... they may have struggled to get out of bed but once up they ate brekkie, got themselves dressed and were reasonably organised (despite occasional lost bags, homework and blazers etc LOL !)


Dan was just stubborn ....... on this particular morning he decided he would not put on his shoes. 


I tried all the tricks in the book ... made it a game, teased him, cajoled, bribed .... did as much as I could cope with under the stress of running late. Eventually I lost it - slapped him on his leg and shouted at him to put his shoes on by the time I came back.


Now .... this was where my plan backfired - I got the girls in the car and sat in it for a few minutes as I knew I had to calm myself down. I started the car and  turned it round to face the road ..... thinking that if Dan heard the car start up ...... he would get a move on ......


Nope - Not my Danny - he was far smarter than that !!!


I walked back in the house after a few mins to find Dan .... chatting to "someone" on the phone.


"For goodness sake - who's that Dan and get your shoes on !"


Dan, 6 years old, hanging onto the phone - "the Police"


ARGGHHH !


OK - calm down Jane - "Dan can I chat with the Policeman " 


He thinks about it for a few seconds ........ imagine that ....... not an instant reaction but actually thinks about it  ...... obviously the Policeman is chatting to Dan at the same time and has presumably asked him who he is talking to - without blinking or passing me the phone this stubborn little 6 year old calmly tells the Officer  


"It's my Mummy - do you want to talk to her ?"


Do you want to talk to her ! Cheeky little blighter !!!


The Officer presumably said yes as Dan then passed the phone to me. Apparently Dan had called the officer to let him know that his Mummy had left him on his own (he had heard the car start) The officer was excellent - he had children of his own and knew the school run nightmare. I confirmed that I was Dan's Mum - had not even left the property boundaries and that Dan was safe. 


Then .... then .... the officer had the cheek to tell me my son was good in that he had called when he was worried that he was alone and concerned for his own safety ...... WHAT .... grrrrrrrrrr  ........ and then I thought ......... and started laughing and still laugh about it now .......... the little bugger knew I hadn't gone far but he had literally just been taught at school to call 999 if he was worried about his safety and had literally used that phrase when ringing - I was amazed that he had been put straight through to an officer rather than a civilian manning the phones but perhaps that's what they did then (believe me I could write a whole book about my encounters with the boys in blue since having the kids).


I got off the phone - turned to Dan who had his shoes on and a HUGE grin.


We got to school. In time. Jess and Gina didn't speak to him for a day, they were so shocked.


And Dan - he knew he had it .... whatever "it" is - Beaten by a 6 year old !!!!!

Memories of Smoky Glass Plates

A "busy"day today, visiting my niece, seeing a neighbour and swimming - amongst the usual stuff of trying to sort my Risk Assessment training docs to get the business started.


It was great popping over to my niece - I had to take her "rock" cakes that were really chocolate chip cookies - the ones I made a couple of days ago. If I hadn't got them to her today they really would have been ROCK cakes!


We chatted about dozens of things that should all be blogged - spiders - psychics - her Dad's band - photography and - my plates.


A couple of days ago she had popped over to see Jess, my daughter - her cousin (we do have a lovely close family) and Jess gave her lunch on a smoky glass plate.


She said she had an instant flashback to the days when we (Mark and I)  used to look after her and her sister during their school holidays. I laughed - yes Jess must have nicked one of the plates!


We used to have a set of 6 dinner plates. 


As with many children leaving home ..... Jess seems to have managed to squirrel away some of our crockery and probably cutlery too - this is definitely a piece of advice I would give to those who will face this transition in the future -      HIDE.   YOUR.    STUFF!


Anyway I then proceeded to tell her (Leanne) about these wonderful plates. In fact a whole dinner set - 6 cups, 6 saucers, 6 tea plates and 6 dinner plates - that are still in daily use even though they are over 20 years old!


Mark and I were young - no children and not yet home owners. We had gone on a day trip to Great Yarmouth on a "great" British summer day - it rained - nothing changed much there then!


We had taken cover in one of the arcades and at the back were a few punters playing BINGO.


We challenged each other and sat down to play ... "1 or 2 games" 


We were hooked - we must have spent 2 or 3 hours that afternoon and re-invested any small winnings on yet another game. We realised near the end of our run that we actually had won enough tickets to exchange for a substantial prize ! 


After a little discussion we both agreed that we were going to get engaged, married, live together and have children (anyone who knows me can comment on the particular order of these events another time LOL) )


So we settled for what became the first item to grace  my "bottom drawer" - being this smoky dinner set .......... and it is so lovely that we are all still using it !!!


So. Now for dinner and yes ....... it will be served on smoky glass plates!

Exercising !

This one is for my friend Julie ...... she is the queen of fitness !!!


I have just never been good with exercising. Hated sports of any kind at school and I guess I have only really ever stuck to 3 forms of keeping fit.


When I was a lot younger - up until about 15 - it was Ballet. I adored it and I was quite good at it too - I never considered it as exercise ..... I just loved dancing!


Then I dabbled a bit with aerobics at different times but found that even doing it with friends and my sister-in-law I just didn't really enjoy it and it wasn't my kind of thing. Until I discovered Cindy Crawford's work out! It wasn't aerobics - more like specific exercises for each part of your body and very similar to a ballet session.


I stuck with Cindy for several years especially after the children were born.


So now that I have the time on my hands you would think that I would have a good opportunity to top up the exercising (start again!!).


Unfortunately Cindy and I have lost the sparkle .... after a 3/4 year break we just couldn't gel .... I really struggled to keep up with her and even worse ...... when I lay down to do the sit ups my dog decided that this must be playtime !!!!


He jumped all over me and would not allow me to continue with the sit-ups (for which I was most disappointed .... really!)


So I think it is probably the end of Cindy and me.


However, there is light at the end of the tunnel in the form of swimming. 


I am a Pisces and love the water. I remember learning to swim at Bedford Road Lower School and going to evening lessons at Robinson Pool. I carried on at the High School and even swam for the school at an inter schools event. We went swimming most Saturday afternoons at the school pool.


After I had my children I used to swim with my Dad at the local pool, a lovely little building just down the road from my house. I would go 3 times a week and kept this up for nearly 10 years - it kept my weight down!!!


Then I started work and that stopped for a while, until I began working for myself and started again. Unfortunately 3 years ago I had to return to working for an organisation where I did not have the option of the hours or pattern of working so had to give up the swimming.


My eldest daughter is now on maternity leave and suggested we go swimming today ...... I have missed it. 


I felt so good afterwards even though I only managed 26 lengths and felt exhausted whereas before I would do 32 lengths in half an hour and still be able to hold a conversation and not be out of breath!


Now I will be on a mission, while I have the time and opportunity I will swim. I am not sure if it will help me lose the weight but that's not the goal - walking the dog does not really raise the ol' ticker much and I would never manage to keep up with Julie on one of her run's so  ..... this is the way forward for me 

Milestones

My daughter is 20!


It was her birthday yesterday and it was lovely to pop over to see her in the evening and have a coffee at her house checking out all the presents. She had some great presents, especially from her fiancé. I am genuinely happy for her.


.......... and a teeny bit sad for me. 


That's very selfish, I know but I missed waking up in the morning, invading her bedroom and all of us jumping on her bed singing "happy birthday!" 


It's a new era and I will get used to it but it feels strange. 


I was reading all the Facebook statuses about the children going back to school and suddenly, I wished I had been an older Mum!! I had my children quite young - aged 23 with my first - and have always loved the fact that I had them young so I would be young enough when they left home to go and DO stuff.


I didn't bank on loving being a Mum so much that I would miss the chaos and noise.


It has been 2 years since I have had to do the school run (Dan was 16 when he decided to go to a school out of area and was just brill - getting himself up before me to catch a 7am bus) and I found myself reading the "School Run" statuses with a little twinge of envy. 


The "new schools", "new uniforms", those wonderful little milestones and heart tugging moments when you say goodbye at the gates .......


WOAH ------ wise up kid!  


I am sat here at 9am having brekkie in the conservatory with the sun actually shining and not having to rush around madly !!!!! 


Yeah, I miss it, but this is calmer, this is ME time and I intend to enjoy as much as I can ...till the grandchildren arrive !

The Herb Garden

How is it that some people can get bored?


No seriously ...... I admit I am slightly de-motivated in terms of work, even though I have several ideas in place for my:
Life Coaching
My website
Risk assessors training etc etc 


BUT being de-motivated to work and being unemployed means I get to READ and walk the dog and cook or even bake (yes .... everyone is probably getting sick of my rock cakes) SO -boredom is just not in my vocabulary.


I only mention this as I noticed a comment on an aquantance's Facebook status. Which also leads me quite nicely into my lists .... not just the BIG list of things to do before I am a certain age but also my daily planner.


Today's  plan was to get some ironing done, produce a flyer for the Risk Assessments Training, take H for a walk, start a Herb Garden (and that is on the BIG list)  and maybe get some home paperwork done before starting dinner for my hard working Hubby.


The day started well - I got some ironing done, and completed the flyer 
(although have not yet actually distributed to anyone so its not doing much good sitting as a PDF document on my desktop!!!)


Then it began to rain ................ only a little ................... but enough for me to postpone that walk for Harley ................. so I started to read.


I am an avid reader - I love books - I went to Egypt on Holiday last year and read 7 books in the 2 week holiday. This is why I cannot understand boredom ..... give me a book and I am lost to the world ..... give me a good book (such as The Partner by John Grisham - no I am not getting paid to advertise) and I am not just lost - but actually transported to new worlds and wonderful adventures!


I am sitting in my conservatory, reading and lost to time. I finish the book and realise it is now 4.30pm and the day has passed.


Do I worry ....... nope. what a wonderful way to spend a day - OK so I didn't earn any money and I am broke as broke can be but I had a day of heaven ..... I can get on with other stuff tomorrow and I am thankful I have had this day to enjoy (maybe by the end of the week when I don't have enough money for the electricity bill I will be writing something quite different!)


And ..................................  as for the Herb Garden .............. 


I decided where it is going to be - currently covered in weeds - so in seconds I nuked it with weedkiller and will wait for that to do its trick - job done !!!