Are you Mom enough ???

Arrgghhhhh !


For those who haven't seen this yet ....... just grrrrrrrrr. http://www.time.com/time/covers/0,16641,20120521,00.html


Number one moan is the American spelling of MOM - yes I know its an American magazine but ...... honestly .....!


Then ..... onto the implication behind the cover picture. That you are only "Mom enough" if you breastfeed your child until aged 3 plus!!!


Let's get this clear - I am not against breastfeeding ..... who could be ..... and I am not against breastfeeding until the child is a little older, whatever each Mum feels is best or are comfortable with ........ 


What I am against is the constant knocking and almost militant oppression that seems to be aimed at those Mum's who don't breastfeed!


It REALLY REALLY bugs me!


That cover title implies that unless you can breastfeed until your child is a toddler - 
you are NOT Mum enough.


How does whether you can or cannot ...... or choose or choose not ..... to breastfeed affect whether you are a good enough mother  ??


I support those who breastfeed in their campaign to be able to feed in certain public places, I support the argument that there may not be enough midwives to help encourage Mum's to breastfeed and I support the undeniable fact that "breast is best"


So why do some of these Mum's (and yes it is not just journalists but some Mum's too) feel that they can judge and "attack" those of us who decided NOT to breastfeed? 


Jess was born a month early and was not able to suckle as she was quite a low weight - I struggled to feed her for 10 days ... during which she lost weight - even though at one point the midwives in hospital were effectively asking me to force feed her every 2 hours! 


We left hospital after 10 days and thankfully my midwife through the local Dr's surgery was a really pragmatic lady and could see Jess and I were struggling. She informed me that Jess would be just as healthy & probably happier if she was put on the bottle. This would ease my stress and enable Mark to help me feed her AND allow her to feed easier therefore putting on the weight that she needed. 


Thus - when Gina & Dan were born I had no problems putting them on the bottle - none of them were "fat" babies (often used as an argument to NOT bottle feed) and we all bonded well - including their Dad !


I will mention that I and my brothers were also all bottle fed babies !


And I will also mention that my grandson was struggling to feed - as he had a viral infection when born - Jess was worrying that she was not able to feed him properly. Thankfully she too had some sensible advice from the midwives to reassure her that her decision to stop worrying and put him on the bottle was a good one!


I had many friends who breastfed and some who bottle fed and none of us seemed to have any issue about this at all. 


Strangely enough, the one time when I was put under pressure and made to feel that I had "failed" my children was during a Uni session. It was during the Anti-Oppressive Module !!!!


The tutor, a lovely lady, was/used to be a nurse ... or health visitor or similar. In one of her explanations of "oppression" she was using the examples of how some women were trying to breast-feed in a child friendly cafe but other customers complained and eventually the owner asked them to leave or at least stop feeding. I was completely sympathetic with this incident and felt she was giving a good explanation ...... until she began to vent her anger at those who instigated the incident and, or so it seemed to me, against any mother who did not breastfeed. 


I actually felt so uncomfortable that I did not challenge her - I did not remind her that some people, for whatever reason, couldn't breastfeed...... but even that should not be used as an "excuse" and that it is perfectly OK for some people to simply CHOOSE not to breastfeed. End of.


I recall saying to my fellow student sitting next to me "yep..... now I GET how someone can be oppressive with just words ....cos I have not felt able to stand up for myself and other Mum's who choose to bottle feed!"


So ..... TIME magazine, please choose your words carefully - maybe you did ... and did this on purpose to ignite the controversy ... and if so I have joined in!


Why make someone feel "less of a Mum" because of how a baby is fed? Whether we have a choice or not - does it really matter whether you have or have not breast-fed ? 


In my humble opinion - NO.