Forget the mouse - worry about the Heron !

OK - so Mr Mouse and his family are not occupying the garage any more .......... that's one pest problem out of the way.


Now we just have to worry about - the Heron ........


About 3 years ago we had a full fish pond with some fairly large fish - the king of the pond then was Riley - a large English Carp - a beautiful fish (if you like that kind of thing ...)


We had only created the pond in 2007 and were still learning about pond management so had not really thought about protecting the fish during the winter months ..... protecting them from the Heron that is !


We left the pond "open" and one day I just happened to mention to Greg that I couldn't see some of the more colourful goldfish ..... we surmised that maybe they were at the bottom of the pond ..... yet several days later we still had no sight of them and even when feeding the fish in the later spring - they did not reappear ...... we assumed then that "a Bird" had got them.


So by the winter of 2008  you would have thought we would have done something about it- like put netting over the pond...... but ..... you know how it is .... we just didn't get round to it - we still had many fish in the pond .... and we still had Riley- but all we did  was to buy one of these plastic Heron models to place at the edge of the pond, which is allegedly a good deterrent ......... NOT !


I woke up very late one Saturday morning - Greg had gone to work - and I opened the bedroom curtains - I looked down at the pond and initially thought -  although almost subconsciously - "the Heron has moved across the pond " ?????????????


I did a double take - this bird was SO still ....... then I looked slightly to the side and saw the plastic Heron - knocked over sideways .......  


I was struck between the devil and the deep blue ....... "what a beautiful, elegant, majestic bird" ......... and ..... "leave my fish ALONE !"


I opened the window and shouted ... the bird casually took its time, slowly spread its wings and eventually flew off, in all it's glory!


At that moment Greg  popped back home, so I explained what I had seen and we both went down to the pond, primarily to fix up the plastic Heron, when we noticed a movement ......... a flapping by the side of the pond - Our Riley was injured and at the side of the pond - the Heron must have flicked him out but we reckon that Riley was perhaps too big for the Heron to carry off - even we were amazed at how he had grown - he was the size of a dinner plate !!!!


We quickly placed him back in the pond but sadly, within a week the shock and an infection to his wounds must have got to him and ... he died.


We were gutted - we had gone from being impressed that we had managed to nurture a fish so big - to genuine sadness that the one fish we had actually named (there were too many Shubinkin goldfish to acknowledge) had now died and we could have ...  should have ... prevented it.


So, in the spring we re-stocked (but did not get another English Carp) and then ..... by the next winter we sorted a net to cover the pond and protect the fish. 


This worked for the winter of 09/10 and 10/11


BUT this year .... even though we thought that, with the weather being milder we would probably not even see the Heron ..... he seems to have plucked up some sort of courage and returned with a vengeance ..... I really need to Google how intelligent these birds are - there are several holes in our netting and I saw him again the other day "pecking at the pond -  I am convinced he has pulled some of these holes !!!!!!!!


So now we are on a mission to upgrade the netting and ensure that all the fish remain safe - we may not have another Riley but the pond is full and we have some very colourful inhabitants that we hope to keep and enjoy watching, for a little while longer !!!

Working from Home

I have always been quite adventurous when it comes to gainful employment. I have done several self employed jobs. From my first venture - "Videotrek" - a mobile video library business, to perfume parties, to jewellery and then to running my own Nanny Agency.


Some of these I have even done whilst doing a 9-5 job too (quite exhausting at the time).


I am now in a good job and for the most part am enjoying it ....... but you know what I miss ........ working from home!


Working from home is great - especially as I get older. 


When you are younger you generally need to be in a work environment that has a social aspect to it too - my first job was great for that - I made a fantastic group of friends who are still my core friends nearly 30 years later. However, within a few years I then had my children. So effectively (apart from a brief 1 year job when Jess was a toddler) I was then at home. As a stay at home Mum I did some child-minding and was on so many community committees it felt as though I was constantly working (without pay).


I was very lucky to then secure a great job with the Pre-School where the children went - so already had a good relationship with staff there ....... and then progressed to working in a school ....... BUT ......... I really missed being independent with my own time.


I know that this is a privileged attitude - I know that I have been lucky enough to have only needed to work part-time since Mark died. I know that many many people do not have the opportunity or choices I had ............ but I have to be honest - that's what I missed.


So when I had that opportunity to run the agency I jumped at it - it was great - I finally got the Home Office I wanted turning the dining room into a PROPER office and felt really good about it. 


The business ran for 5 years but then the recession of 2008 hit so I had to look to do something else and if I am honest again ..... I actually missed the banter of office talk, interaction on a daily basis with colleagues. Yes I would have regular contact with my Nannies and families but it was not on the same level. So I was ready to go back to working as an employee. 


It didn't quite start out like that - I was an outsourcer for a local charity - and I loved it - they would give me a project to work on - to improve quality (policy & procedure) and I would do that from a laptop at home and report back in on a weekly basis. The best of both worlds !!!!


Then in 2009 they offered me a permanent part-time position. I think that may have been my mistake - I took it - happy for the consistency rather than not being sure if the outsource contract would continue to be renewed on a 3 monthly basis - so instead of working regularly from home, even though it was only for 25 hours a week, I was then working from their offices. I still loved it - don't get me wrong, but as time wore on I really really began to miss the working from home aspect.


I will not go into the details as to why I resigned but suffice to say I tried to resurrect the agency in some form or other during the 4 months I was out of work. It was not to be successful enough and so NEEDS MUST (money!) and I had to go back to being an employee again.


I have to say, I am enjoying where I work now - the people are great - that office banter/interaction is fab and again - it is only for 3 days a week. I also do bank work at the Nursery which is even more fun ........... BUT and there it is ............ BUT ....... I miss organising my own time/diary/agenda - sorting the business, visiting colleges  training others ...


Yes, the home office has been changed back to the dining room - I do still have an office - we changed Gina's old room into the office room - but it doesn't seem as prominent because it isn't - it is upstairs and out of the way.


So I will still keep plugging away at my ideas for diversifying the business - I now have that Life Coach qualification but have not yet gone down that route - it is a chicken and egg situation of needing the backup to advertise and build on. I am sure the right time will come - the economic climate will improve and ... as it is ... I am still able to dabble a little with the odd enquiry every now and then ....... 


I remain optimistic that I will once again be able to work full time (well as full time as I require) from home !!!

dog etiquette

I  have just seen on the news about the little 6 year old girl who was attacked by a dog. The story does not identify the dog breed or give much detail, other than the Mum and Dad of the little girl were fighting to get the dog off before the owner even appeared on the scene.


This is one of my biggest annoyances when walking Harley.


Harley is an unsociable dog - end of !


He does not like other dogs - he is fine with people, children and cats (he thinks he is a cat) he is fine with Billie, Kenzi and Ruby and even our friend's dog Poco but other than that - he does not like other dogs.


That said, when I walk him I am very aware of this and although I stay calm and assertive (thanks Cesar Milan) I also keep him very much in my sights and as soon as we see other dogs I put him on the lead.


SO .... my issue is this .... WHY oh why do other dog walkers not do the same ?


They may well be confident that their dog is "friendly" but if their dog BOUNDS up to mine - my dog will NOT be so friendly - I think he is a little anxious and with the classic "Fight or Flight" syndrome ..... he chooses to fight - but whilst he may be on the lead and I can pull him away ... the other dog very often just keeps going. Time after time this has happened and I have had the other dog still egging him on ........ ARGGHHHH ..... And of course once my H has started their dog will often retaliate, as is natural !!!


DON'T JUST TRUST THAT MY DOG IS NICE !!! 


I do what I can but seriously it gets really irritating - especially when a  larger dog will not leave him alone ! 


Our worst encounter was near the river with a family (who were out paddling in the river last summer). They had a Staffie who was just wandering about at quite a distance from them and where they could not see him - he headed for Harley at a pace - Harley stiffened and crouched and you could sense his fear ..... I called out and shouted several expletives telling the dog to leave but it was just jumping at Harley - Harley barred his teeth and started growling and the Staffie retaliated aggressively - at that point, after hearing my shouting, the owner called their dog back ....... but why did they not have him under control in the first place ????? I was shaken and in fact didn't take H for a walk for about 3 days after that encounter.


There is another dog walker in particular whom I have taken a dislike to - he has 3 dogs all larger breeds, and they ALWAYS bound over to Harley - I am sure they mean no harm and are friendly BUT again ..... Harley doesn't know that and he immediately goes on the attack ......... but I have Harley under control, on the lead - the owner of these 3 dogs does NOTHING to control his and has even tutted at me ..... I can imagine one day H will end up connecting with one of his dogs with barred teeth and H will get the blame - even though I keep asking this man to hold his dogs !!!1


Hence I sympathise SOOOO much with this family - there should be  firmer regulation regarding dogs and walking them.


There is a sort of agreed dog etiquette amongst most walkers and yes, usually the walks are good. I have even made friends with a few who all give H a slow, gentle introduction and reintroduction to their dogs and then we have been able to walk together ..... but just an unspoken etiquette is not enough - or maybe it is ..................... because there will always be those few who will  break the rules and would take no notice of more stringent laws or regulations.


HOWEVER ......... if I hear one more person say "it's OK....... my dog is friendly" ..... I think I will scream !!!!

Pub Culture

"Our" mouse did not return ...... but we think we killed a family member - the trap was re-set and a couple of days later we found a dead mouse in it - bigger than "our" mouse and with no damage to his tail.  We have re-set the trap again ...... but for the last 3 days the food has not had a nibble, so either the mice have wised up to the trap ..... or we have sorted it .............

Anyway ...... today's ramblings stem from last night - we went to my future son-in-laws 21st birthday party. It was very chilled and I enjoyed it, sitting in their local pub where we had been allowed to bring food. We sort of  "took over" the back room.


However,  it also made me quite sad. The pub was quite empty other than our little party. This was a Friday night when pubs should be full and all manner of customers enjoying themselves ....... nostalgia started kicking in !


I know that out of town local pubs are struggling ..... you only have to drive down the main drag of Bedford Road to see 5 pubs closed and boarded up. These were 5 pubs that, in my day, had thriving business - they may have been real "spit and sawdust" pubs but they had customers  and atmosphere! Going to the pub was part of my teenage years (and more recent, later years too - you may recall those sambuca nights !!)


But going to the pub does not seem to be a part of my kids teenage culture - is it because they have become  too expensive - is it because the pubs that are "rammed" are those themed pubs in town - or is it partly the publicans or bar-persons attitudes themselves?


Last night - the barman was pleasant and affable BUT I know of many local spit and sawdust pubs that are not so welcoming and am sure this has not helped some of those pubs that have closed down.


At one point in my life my local was the New Inn in Bedford - the landlord and landlady made it their business to be UNwelcoming to regulars, as that seemed to be part of the charm ..... however, to any new visitors they would generally make them feel welcome and part of the whole "team" (unless they took an instant dislike just by looking at them - which did happen quite often come to think of it !). They would only start their "husband and wife"  bickering when they were confident that those in the pub knew them well enough. Very Fawlty Towers.


I also encountered a similar process when we made "The Smiths" our local a few years ago. Again husband and wife teamed as landlord and landlady ... and somehow the pub atmosphere was friendly and welcoming - even if they were bickering .......... in fact sometimes that bickering became part of the evening's entertainment. Sadly they gave up running the pub and we (among others) stopped going regularly. Of course we met some lovely people there and happily I have remained friends through the magic of facebook - but we hardly ever see those people any more and so the social link of the pub culture has diminished for us.


The last time we popped into that pub the person behind the bar (I do not know if this person was landlord or just staff) was very abrupt, almost as if we were disturbing him - when there were just 3 other people in the room!


I know that the girls and their partners also encountered the same reaction and decided that they would therefore not bother making that their local and in fact did not bother with any pub after that .... thereby missing out (in my opinion) on a whole aspect of teenage/young adult life. 


Mark in particular spent much of his free time in the pub - not just drinking - but because he was a member of the darts team, the skittles team, the pool team, the pub cricket team etc etc etc !!! My whole social life pretty much revolved around the pub, certainly for a good 5 years - from the Crown to the New Inn and until I had Jessica .......... even then - we would still go to the pub where Gill, the landlady, was happy to babysit for Jess in the flat upstairs while we  had a "night out" - a home from home! 


That is nostalgia for you - my 3 do not feel they have missed out - they have more money to spend as they do not spend a tenner or more over a weekend on pub priced drinks (well that was in my day so it would be double now !) They have different social gatherings and get-together's. They have a good strong bond and group of friends who visit their homes, without the need for a meeting place where, as a bonus, they could purchase a drink !


BUT - I wonder if they miss out on the mix of folks that we met through  "The Smiths" or the "Flower Pot" (I do not include the Crown as they were ALL bikers) or "The New Inn. There were people of all ages, all sorts of backgrounds and the kind of banter that you could see in that TV series "CHEERS" 


Yes - we did have a chap who would sit at the bar and philosophise about everything AND the  guy who was the EXPERT on anything. It was an education in itself and a lesson in tolerance, life and social skills. 


So, although they do not see it, I do think they have missed out and am hopeful that they will visit The Anchor more often and get to know the barman, landlord, landlady and locals and experience some of the positive side of pub culture that for me is lacking in the soulless themed pubs in the centre of town.

Cruising

My heart goes out to those who were on the cruise ship Costa Concordia and to the families of those who died in the tragedy and to those who are still missing.


Having stated that, this is my blog, and I comment on the issues that affect me personally, so although this may seem insensitive to those going through the tragedy ....... it is not meant to be ...... 


But - I must now mention that this has obviously bothered me more than I thought it would, after first hearing the news.


I am a worrier, a panicker, plain and simple. 


Always have been, although it has definitely got worse since Mark's death ... and the realisation of ones own mortality. Of course everyone realises they are going to die - but seriously, at the age of 28, it never crossed my mind that it would be in any other way than as an elderly lady, aged around 90, in my bed surrounded by loved ones!


I always used to get myself worked up about little things - to the extent that I would even make myself physically sick sometimes (I have a very delicate constitution anyway - the slightest of spicy foods can set me off!). Yet I wasn't too bad initially. I travelled to New Zealand when I was 21 with no concerns at all about the flight - I was just excited and looked upon it as a big adventure.


The fear of flying came after his death. Possibly because I realised that, if I died then the children would be orphans (depressing thought, I know!). Or maybe because I recognised that issue of mortality and that being on a plane you have no control and no way out in an emergency. Whatever the reason, I am now quite pathetic when it comes to flying and so have to take some anti anxiety pills before getting anywhere near the airport!


However, I have never been bothered about anything to do with the sea. I am a Pisces and happy in and around water. I don't even recall having any bad dreams regarding disaster scenarios after seeing the film "Titanic".


Believe me - I have a disaster survival scenario for most eventualities - burning buildings, attack from burglars or muggers, nuclear blast or viral infection - major world 2012 big screen disasters and even including how to survive a zombie attack - YES in my dreams I can survive them all ........ but I have never even considered my escape routes or how to survive the sinking of a Ship.


I saw the news about the Cruise ship and shortly afterwards Greg's Mum called to see if I was OK ..... because she knows how I could be affected, thinking of our future cruise. NOT a problem I said and genuinely, still CONSCIOUSLY am not thinking of it as a problem (even though I am blogging about it!).


HOWEVER the sub conscious mind works in a mysterious way. I went to bed yesterday with no  thoughts about the tragedy. YET I woke up with it at the forefront of my mind and with my stomach doing back-flips. ARGGGHHHHH. 


So now I will look at the positives - such as "now is the best time as safety checks will be at their peak" OR that in fact nearly everyone did get out, with little or no injuries, just shock OR that I will probably get on the ship and check ALL the escape routes, location of Fire Extinguishers, life rafts etc etc !!!


In many ways my own reaction is a tad laughable ........... but not to those who have just gone through it -  and for the families still going through it .......... my thoughts and prayers go out to them.

Our Mouse

Well ...... not exactly OUR mouse.  


Greg had found some mice droppings in the garage. He was a bit concerned that a mouse could nibble the wiring and wreck his Harley (not the wiring of the garage or house you note !). So he decided to put down a mouse trap.


Now for all those who may be a tad squeemish ... I do empathise ....... but, having worked on a farm and being a bit more pragmatic, I could understand his concerns. Plus, we do live overlooking a spinney that then becomes a field that then leads to the river ..... so one mouse can become a whole field-mouse family in no time at all!


The first day he put down some cheese. He looked at the trap the next morning and the cheese had gone ..... the cheeky blighter had eaten the cheese and not got caught at all !!!


The second day he put down some chocolate. He looked at the trap the next morning and .......... the chocolate had gone ...... no mouse ...... by now I am sure the mouse was thinking "Yum Yum - what's going to be on the menu tonight"


So on day 3 Greg put down caramel chocolate, hoping that the caramel may stick and make it more difficult for the mouse to retrieve, before the trap snapped down. 


He looked at the trap this morning ........... he came into the bedroom and asked me to come with him to the garage - my first reaction was to refuse - I understand why it has to be done - but do not want to SEE a dead mouse ..... no, he said, please just come and look.


In the trap, caught by his tail, was a very much alive and very, very cute little field mouse. We prized open the trap and placed the mouse in a plastic box we had. He seemed OK apart from a battered and bloody tail and was limping a little, so perhaps his foot had also been caught.


Greg was not going to kill it, it is one thing to remove a dead mouse from a trap but it is completely different to actually, physically have to kill it yourself. 


I pleaded with him for all of about 5 minutes to let me look after it until it had fully recovered, I was concerned that with a dodgy tail and foot it would be very vulnerable out in the field. To which my husband said - "knowing the cheeky little thing it will probably work its way back into the garage in a day or two" !!!


And with that comment he let it go - out the back garden in the spinney.


It ran and bounced away, with no limp or cautiousness at all, just happy that it had got another chance at life and that he was free !!!!


I will keep you updated as to whether we have actually got rid of the mouse problem ..... or not !

My Christmas Rose

Some people think the news itself is the worst part ......... it isn't .......... it is the long, long  journey afterwards.


When you are told that someone you love has died, in whatever way or however old, you are devastated.


Everyone reacts slightly differently and whilst each person's grieving process may follow a similar path ... it is always an individual path. You generally expect ... and understand ... that the first year is going to be the hardest. You tend to know that whenever it comes to Birthdays, Anniversary's, Christmases and special family events you will go through a tough patch. What is sometimes NOT understood, is that your life actually, long term, is never going to be the same again.


Of course this can be said of many events ..... having children .... children leaving home .... long term illnesses etc., can all change a life dramatically but I personally don't think I really accepted the longevity of the impact of my husband's death.


However, I can look back 18 years on and realise that the intensity at least, has eased.


Christmas, 18 years ago was a real nightmare. Mark had died in the August and I was understandably wallowing in grief. There is a long list of issues I was having over that period and an equally long list of those friends and family who were helping me through - but one incident that stands out and, that I was reminded of this year, was getting a rose for placing at the cemetery....


I was kept very busy with the 3 children (then aged 4, 2 and 8 months) and had quite simply not realised that at Christmas, lots of people will be buying flowers for their loved ones to take to a cemetery, as well as roses for those still with us and for whom they may be visiting over the Christmas period. 


I had left it until Christmas Eve to get a single rose for Mark .................................... and I could not find one anywhere !!!!


This now seems impossible to believe - because everywhere I went this year had red roses - the petrol stations, the Supermarkets and of course the florists ..........but literally ..... NOWHERE had a spare Rose for Christmas 1993.


I had tried every florists I could think of in Kempston and  several of those I knew of in Bedford. I arrived at my Mum and Dad's at about 4pm Christmas Eve in floods of tears, an absolute wreck. At that time, to me, this was so important. I absolutely had to leave a rose at the cemetery for Mark on Christmas morning. 


Thankfully, my Mum and Dad took over. 


Mum calmed me down and sorted the children out - Dad just disappeared ....................... 


I have no idea how long he was gone and no recollection of how many shops/florists he visited ....................... but of course he turned up - Rose in hand ! 


Between Mum and Dad - Mission Impossible was achieved! 


Within a few years I had realised that placing the rose itself was not so important as remembering him, talking about him with the children and keeping his memory alive. That, in fact, if I did not get to the cemetery for a special event because I had 3 youngsters and, at different points in life, was working or just running around like a headless chicken ............. then it really wasn't going to make a difference if it was a day late. I believe that he would have seen me ......... running around like the proverbial headless chicken ................. and sympathised ............and not wanted me, or the kids, or anyone else  ... to be that stressed !


So, this year I was very happy that a rose on my rosebush in the garden flowered (the mild weather has some benefits!). A beautiful, deep red rose .... and without any stress ... I got to the cemetery .............. 


but not until the day after Boxing Day !

HELLO 2012

We are already at the 4th day of the New Year .... wow .... where does the time go ???


We had a good New Years Eve - no major damage - other than poor Jess tripping over the step and getting a badly twisted ankle for her efforts - unfortunately she still danced on it that evening so I think it made it a touch worse the next day !!


Several of the boys stayed over and I only had to go down once to get them to be quiet at 4am - I could cope till 3am but that extra hour was just a bit too much LOL!


So then ... New Years Day was lovely - it only took hubby and me a couple of hours to clear up and then we started a Harry Potter marathon -  Sunday and Monday were very lazy, getting through 6 of the films - will do the last 2 next weekend ! When I then went into work on Tuesday I felt a little jaded and not at all happy, as the same with most of us if we are honest with ourselves - we have all had a lovely break and going back to earn a living is not what I desired !!!!


Then I have today off and it has taken me all morning to get the decorations down and become a tad demotivated again into the bargain - not bemoaning the lack of time just a lack of direction I think.


SO ....... this is the bit where you would imagine I then announce my new year's resolutions BUT ..... actually ..... no - I am not making a single one this year.


I have done my list which I am working through.........


I have regularly resolved to lose weight and never do and then always feel worse for not managing it. 
I have resolved in the past to being more organised and only ever got so far.
I have resolved to de-clutter and end up not wanting to throw things away so storing even more "stuff"


NOPE - this year I am simply resolving to carry on with what I am already doing - I am reasonably healthy (a bit unfit and a stone overweight but that's not too bad for a 46 year old grandmother) - I am wealthy enough to live comfortably - we go on holidays, sometimes have a meal out and are able to enjoy indulging the kids occasionally - and I am happy - yes I moan and groan about the usual stuff - the weather, missing the girls, the dog's behaviour, my Husband's behaviour etc, but generally I am happy ............. so why change !!! 


As  a Life Coach I should be endorsing the setting of goals and life targets ..... but looking at my list ... I already have these and, as stated before, am working on them each and every day!


Some I may achieve, some I may not, but when I look at the full list of 300+ items I have actually done quite a lot from it already - even down to having a band when I was younger (well me and an old friend Esther ) having worked on a farm ticked many boxes (seeing lambs, piglets and calves born and making straw bales, riding a tractor and bringing in hay), I have run my own business, got a degree, got my house pretty much how I wanted it, raised my children, been a juror at court......


Some things I have done more by luck than action ... and others I have actually sought to do - but in fact,  I can look at these achievements with some satisfaction and realise that I have and still am, PILOTING my own direction quite nicely. 


I really recommend doing a list to any who read my blog - even down to the simple and easy stuff like having the pond in the garden or my honeysuckle covered archway - these cost a little in money and effort but are so easily achievable and enhance my living environment in their own little way that brings a smile to my face when I sit in the garden in summer. 


Yes of course there are the bigger things on that list that I doubt now I will achieve (like becoming a millionaire or a politician!!) but they are still there and do bring a sense of motivation in some manner.


The best thing I did was to get that list down and look upon it as a life plan rather than a bucket list - so I will continue working on that and welcome 2012 with open arms for all that it brings !! 


I hope you all will too !


P.S Happy Birthday to my inspiration ...... MY DAD !!!