Stalking parents ???

I feel a slight rant coming on ...... no ... it's not about the weather ..... no ... it's not even about Europe (though that often causes a rant) .... It's about a politician stating that "if you follow your child on a social networking site ... you are effectively stalking them" ...WTF ????

I will not mention the MP (or political party) as that is not relevant and anyway ...as always ... she would state that it was "taken out of context" but seriously - how much context do you need !

The debate was around the sexualisation of childhood - something I have been banging on about for years, so it's really nothing new (so did Mary Whitehouse but I never supported her - I was too young!)

Initially I agreed with most of the points BOTH MP's were stating.........UNTIL ... the debate turned to who's responsibility it was to stop this or at least halt the alleged advance of the issue. I have news for ALL MP's ........ it is NOT SOLELY the state's responsibility, as this particular MP was promoting. 

PARENTS have the majority of responsibility for taking the lead as to whether or not they allow this sexualisation. Peer pressure (parent on parent as well as child on child), parents thinking their child looks cute in certain clothing, lack of monitoring the sort of TV/DVD/Games the child plays - all bear a part .... but I digress (this is a whole new blog)- let's get back to the MP's statement.

We always get those in Government who feel they should control every aspect in our lives - and I know they don't usually get much airing as thankfully there is freedom of speech, debate and democracy so those minorities rarely get much further than bringing any issues to the House. I also agree that there is SOME responsibility that should be taken by the state - perhaps appropriate legislation where necessary or more information available to children in schools (during PSHE ) regarding issues like sexting and what would be considered appropriate and inappropriate relationships.

HOWEVER, ultimately most of it comes down to the parents. So my question is - what exactly does she think is wrong with monitoring your child on social network sites, what defines her definition of "stalking" your own child?

OK so I was lucky, I guess, that my children were old enough to be at the beginning of the social network explosion - but I still befriended them all on Bebo, MySpace and then, as they got older, on Facebook. Quietly tracking various incidents,comments and events and casually mentioning, when issues arose, that perhaps they should deal with something differently or not take a comment to heart as they cannot see or hear how he other person has said it. I am not saying I always got it right - just that I could and did check up on some of the things they were doing.

This is no different to how my parents would check up on any land-line phone calls, callers to the door or even (God forbid) the dreaded ...... "X's Mum wants to call you to check that Y arrangement is OK" (total social embarrassment and I thoroughly enjoyed using it to embarrass my kids too!!)

If parents are letting children younger and younger to join sites such as Facebook - surely common sense would make them realise that this opens the child up to "the whole world" and they just have that responsibility to be monitoring their progress through this virtual maze that is presented before them.

So, an MP stating that if a parent checks up on their child, it is practically stalking, is yet another example of misplaced ideology. Or worse an excuse for lazy parents to abdicate their responsibility!

In my job we hear of many examples of children being groomed on-line, the child thinking they are talking to ... say ..... a 15 year old boy and yet eventually it is discovered to be a 40 year old man..... that is an aspect of my job - I am not scaremongering ...... and am happy to report that it is still a relatively rare crime. 

However, I would rather "stalk" my child any day to protect him or her from this potential horror ... as prevention is not just better than the alternative - I don't even want to think of the alternative! This crime is global ..... and it's growing. 

So please Ms MP - think again about what you are saying. Continue the rest of your campaign against the other aspects of sexualisation of childhood  - I am right behind you there - but please don't ignore the dangers of mobile phones, social networking sites and all the other aspects of the technological age and please, please do not dismiss the responsibility of the parents - we need to know that it's out there ..... and it's dangerous !

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And from my Gina ....

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My daughter's guest blog

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Back to Normal ...

Well actually ....what is normal ??

Life's events come and go and we all seem somehow geared to working up to them - the planning and preparation of them ... then the "event" itself and then back to "normal" (as several of my work colleagues stated when I returned to work after the Christmas break).

Of course what they mean is the day to day stuff that is in fact pretty boring .... but vital for keeping our sanity!

I love Christmas & New Year and this one just gone was lovely - very different to the last few years but very  nice, none the less. I think mainly because we now have the babies and they are not yet old enough to actually "join in". 

It was great having everyone here at mine - 12 adults and 2 babes. I didn't even have the worry of cooking the Turkey as Mum did that part and brought it ready-cooked for Christmas dinner! 

That meal went successfully and then down to a few family games before Mum & Dad and a little later my brother & his family left and eventually so did my girls and their families. A classic Christmas with no family arguments and everyone full and happy !

I think it was New Years Eve that seemed so very different. 

Since about 2006 we have had a big NYE party here ..... initially with my 3 being teenagers and us having friends over. Then, in the last 3 or 4 years, it morphed into a teenage party with friends of the kids coming over and having a great time - drinking and dancing and generally partying - in fact a couple of times I would disappear upstairs to let them get on with it - only to come back down to join in with the traditional midnight countdown and rendition of "auld lang syne!"

Last year was a little different - my grandson was a couple of months old and Gina was pregnant so the partying style was a little more subdued. However, we did still party.

This year ..... it was less of a party and more of a "gathering". Danny had gone out to party with his mates and so the usual crew that congregate here were out with him.

It was actually really lovely - quiet ..... and in many ways much more suited to my personality than the rowdier parties! We played Scattegories and in fact had got so involved in the game we nearly missed the midnight countdown - turning the telly on as the count had reached 6 !

I think this may be the pattern for another few years now and I think I will certainly enjoy the calmer aspect of it ..... although it's not quite DAH's "thing" and I can see him trailing off to join Dan and going out to PARTY ! However, I am happy to spend the time with my grandchildren and welcome the New Year in with the next generation, even though the older you get, the more it is really ....... just another day !

So yes ..... it was different ... another transitional period in life and not our "normal" NYE ...... but then .... what is normal ?