I took Harley for his usual mile walk today. It was a good walk with no other dog encounters !
However, my feet are now soaked .....so this blog is about the importance of wearing correct footwear !!!
Yes ...... seriously I have cold, wet feet AND I was wearing really thick socks !
It has been raining a lot recently - not enough to postpone the hosepipe ban unfortunately - but to the average person in the street (i.e.me) it feels like it hasn't stopped for the last 2 weeks. In fact the river levels look like they are back to normal and walking across the field is a squishy, muddy, wet affair !!
I have 3 pairs of shoes/boots that I use for walking Harley.
In the summer it is usually my trainers - nice and simple. In the winter I use my woolly boots. The kids bought this pair of boots about 3 Christmases ago and I absolutely love them ...... they have thick wool inside and are waterproof so are great for walking in the snow or wet weather - better than wellies - which just leave me with very cold feet and are just NOT comfortable to walk in !
So ...... Spring and Autumn are the awkward months - never quite sure what the weather is going to do ..... I had been using a different pair of flat boots that are fake suede-ish and seemed to be fine whilst walking on the paths.
However, last week my husband took pity on me ........ we had walked up to the retail park, me in my 6 year old trainers, and he popped into the sports shop while I stayed outside with Harley. He came out with a huge bag and grinned ...telling me that my old trainers were looking a bit sad ...... he proudly announced he had bought me a pair of proper Karrimor Walking trainers!
I was not sure that I was impressed initially - to me a pair of trainers is a pair of trainers ........ until I got them out the box and saw the tread and how sturdy they looked. However, being sceptical as I am - I thought "they may be a bit stiff to wear".
How wrong could I be .... they were sooooo comfortable!
I wore them on my walk a couple of days ago - and walked across the field - in the wet grass and mud. They were BRILLIANT - tread gripped the ground (even the slippy mud) and my feet were bone dry. I was converted!
Today though, for some reason, I put on the old suede-ish boots .......
Walking in the mud and wet grass was a nightmare - it probably did my muscles and cardiovascular some good, as it was really hard work but I know I was not walking "correctly" as my hips were "twinging" when I got back (oh to be 21 again and not worry about hip pains LOL).
BUT the worst bit was my COLD WET FEET - the damp grass had soaked right through and I had forgotten that these boots were not waterproof !!!
So now I am sitting in front of the fire, soaking socks off, drying them off. AND I am a convert to my new PROPER walking shoes !!!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Well I had several other ideas for today's post - until I read the last ever school magazine, from my old school.
My school is/was Bedford High School, an all girls private school. I attended between 1973 - 1983 and I was definitely a High School Girl ..... it stayed with me, through the friendships I made to my involvement after leaving in the Old Girls' Association (the Guild) and the Foundation (a charity set up to help with funding for all sorts of things).
The School always had a school magazine titled "The Aquila" which was edited and produced mainly by the girls - with articles written by them and staff regarding each year's events etc.
Now, the School is merging with it's sister school - Dame Alice Harpur School - and becoming Bedford Girls School. This merge has been "happening" for the last 2 years and most of the practical stuff has been completed with everything moving to the Dame Alice School site and the use of the High School site being arranged for the local College to commence at the beginning of the September term 2012.
So we (the old girls) have had plenty of time to come to terms with the merger, the emotions of our old school not being our old school any more and to hope that the new school will be carrying on with the ethos and traditions as much as is possible. Some old girls have been angry, others upset, others just not that bothered really. I had thought I was in the latter category........ slightly upset when we initially heard the news but accepting that it was inevitable and assuming that all would be done in the best interests of the pupils in the long run.
Until we had our last Guild Committee meeting last night when I took home a copy of "The Eaglet". This was NOT the Aquila (yes there was one of those ... a joke "anti" "Not the Aquila" one year) but it was a slimmer version and a tribute to the last 2 academic year groups that remain on the old school site - the Upper 5's and Upper 6 forms. (16 and 18 year olds doing their exams this summer)
Actually - I was even fine after the meeting, it was later on today when I began reading the magazine ......... and I have to admit ....... a tear came to my eyes.
I am still not quite sure why? ..... what am I grieving for? ...... my school memories will remain as they were - no change there - the school ethos will be carried on in the new school - it is still a Harpur Trust school after all. The buildings will probably change, although the main building is listed so will have to remain looking the same even if internally changes are made. So why?
I don't know - perhaps it is that I thought maybe my granddaughters may go there - it is a family tradition - my Mum went there and so did my girls. BUT - No - I don't really think that is it.
I think it is just a moment..... to reflect on all that was good about the School - (yes of course there were some not so good things too) and just that it really did help make me who I am . The School and staff certainly acted as a strong support and continuity for my girls that I will treasure - they were nurtured there as I am sure they would not have been elsewhere and they needed it in their circumstances. I will be forever grateful for that. A child builds resilience through many areas in life and the opportunities provided by the High School helped them build on their existing resilience.
So I shall be a little sad for a moment and then focus on all the positives of past, present, and future.
"Alta Petens" - Seek higher things !
My school is/was Bedford High School, an all girls private school. I attended between 1973 - 1983 and I was definitely a High School Girl ..... it stayed with me, through the friendships I made to my involvement after leaving in the Old Girls' Association (the Guild) and the Foundation (a charity set up to help with funding for all sorts of things).
The School always had a school magazine titled "The Aquila" which was edited and produced mainly by the girls - with articles written by them and staff regarding each year's events etc.
Now, the School is merging with it's sister school - Dame Alice Harpur School - and becoming Bedford Girls School. This merge has been "happening" for the last 2 years and most of the practical stuff has been completed with everything moving to the Dame Alice School site and the use of the High School site being arranged for the local College to commence at the beginning of the September term 2012.
So we (the old girls) have had plenty of time to come to terms with the merger, the emotions of our old school not being our old school any more and to hope that the new school will be carrying on with the ethos and traditions as much as is possible. Some old girls have been angry, others upset, others just not that bothered really. I had thought I was in the latter category........ slightly upset when we initially heard the news but accepting that it was inevitable and assuming that all would be done in the best interests of the pupils in the long run.
Until we had our last Guild Committee meeting last night when I took home a copy of "The Eaglet". This was NOT the Aquila (yes there was one of those ... a joke "anti" "Not the Aquila" one year) but it was a slimmer version and a tribute to the last 2 academic year groups that remain on the old school site - the Upper 5's and Upper 6 forms. (16 and 18 year olds doing their exams this summer)
Actually - I was even fine after the meeting, it was later on today when I began reading the magazine ......... and I have to admit ....... a tear came to my eyes.
I am still not quite sure why? ..... what am I grieving for? ...... my school memories will remain as they were - no change there - the school ethos will be carried on in the new school - it is still a Harpur Trust school after all. The buildings will probably change, although the main building is listed so will have to remain looking the same even if internally changes are made. So why?
I don't know - perhaps it is that I thought maybe my granddaughters may go there - it is a family tradition - my Mum went there and so did my girls. BUT - No - I don't really think that is it.
I think it is just a moment..... to reflect on all that was good about the School - (yes of course there were some not so good things too) and just that it really did help make me who I am . The School and staff certainly acted as a strong support and continuity for my girls that I will treasure - they were nurtured there as I am sure they would not have been elsewhere and they needed it in their circumstances. I will be forever grateful for that. A child builds resilience through many areas in life and the opportunities provided by the High School helped them build on their existing resilience.
So I shall be a little sad for a moment and then focus on all the positives of past, present, and future.
"Alta Petens" - Seek higher things !
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Empty Town
I went into town on Saturday with Gina ..... I haven't been in for some months !
It was EMPTY!
I was quite upset actually. It was not just empty of people but it FELT empty - many shops have boards up and all of the café's I saw only had a few customers. I know it has been reported on news and that the decline of the Town Centres has been a hot topic for several years (retail park versus town shopping) but I think, having not visited since Christmas (a kind of false time to visit anyway as of course it will be busier), it really hit me how quiet it was!
It wasn't as if we were particularly early ..... or late ... we got in at 11am and after our shopping, we then stopped for a roll and coffee in the Harpur Centre.
When Greg and I first got together we used to meet up every Saturday, after he finished work (around 1pm) and go for a coffee. We continued doing this until about 3 years ago, although we do still occasionally pop in for bits and bobs. Even up until then we used to struggle to find a seat at some of the more popular café's and would often have to weave our way in and out of shops avoiding other people.
However, I cannot complain about it, as I admit above, I am just as bad as everyone else. Like most other shoppers, these days I prefer to shop either online or at the retail parks, where parking is free and everything is "within easy reach" !
Yet I really enjoyed going into town again ....... just to browse around and being able to have a choice of places to stop and eat ..... rather than just one coffee shop or McDonald's or Burger King (oh and don't forget KFC!) Even the £3 parking charge for town was actually not that bad ..... although I do think that does put a lot of people off!
When I was young "town" was very important. The place to meet up and the ONLY place to get the variety of shops and goods. It really did seem ALWAYS busy, especially the market - you had to push your way through people and queue or lean over and shout loudly for the card stall or sweet stall! It was noisier too - that maybe because now the main "patch" is pedestrianised and I guess I recall the areas that were still open roads .....although by my late teens/early 20's the roads had been closed.
I think it still is a place to meet up for some teenagers, although as for choice of products ...... well you can get just about everything under one roof ....... that of most supermarkets these days!
So I think I will try to support the town a little more. It may take a little more time to go from one store to another .......one may be in the Harpur Centre whilst another might be in the High Street ... but I would like to support the market traders and the smaller shops ......... maybe this is an idealistic view and it probably won't last long ..... but I did enjoy the trip and have already booked to go in again this Saturday with Gina ! .......
Anyone for coffee and cake ?????
It was EMPTY!
I was quite upset actually. It was not just empty of people but it FELT empty - many shops have boards up and all of the café's I saw only had a few customers. I know it has been reported on news and that the decline of the Town Centres has been a hot topic for several years (retail park versus town shopping) but I think, having not visited since Christmas (a kind of false time to visit anyway as of course it will be busier), it really hit me how quiet it was!
It wasn't as if we were particularly early ..... or late ... we got in at 11am and after our shopping, we then stopped for a roll and coffee in the Harpur Centre.
When Greg and I first got together we used to meet up every Saturday, after he finished work (around 1pm) and go for a coffee. We continued doing this until about 3 years ago, although we do still occasionally pop in for bits and bobs. Even up until then we used to struggle to find a seat at some of the more popular café's and would often have to weave our way in and out of shops avoiding other people.
However, I cannot complain about it, as I admit above, I am just as bad as everyone else. Like most other shoppers, these days I prefer to shop either online or at the retail parks, where parking is free and everything is "within easy reach" !
Yet I really enjoyed going into town again ....... just to browse around and being able to have a choice of places to stop and eat ..... rather than just one coffee shop or McDonald's or Burger King (oh and don't forget KFC!) Even the £3 parking charge for town was actually not that bad ..... although I do think that does put a lot of people off!
When I was young "town" was very important. The place to meet up and the ONLY place to get the variety of shops and goods. It really did seem ALWAYS busy, especially the market - you had to push your way through people and queue or lean over and shout loudly for the card stall or sweet stall! It was noisier too - that maybe because now the main "patch" is pedestrianised and I guess I recall the areas that were still open roads .....although by my late teens/early 20's the roads had been closed.
I think it still is a place to meet up for some teenagers, although as for choice of products ...... well you can get just about everything under one roof ....... that of most supermarkets these days!
So I think I will try to support the town a little more. It may take a little more time to go from one store to another .......one may be in the Harpur Centre whilst another might be in the High Street ... but I would like to support the market traders and the smaller shops ......... maybe this is an idealistic view and it probably won't last long ..... but I did enjoy the trip and have already booked to go in again this Saturday with Gina ! .......
Anyone for coffee and cake ?????
Monday, April 9, 2012
Tribute to Scamp
My cat was put down a couple of weeks ago now.
Sad as I was, I am happy that he led a very full and adventurous life. He lived longer than any of my other cats who all ended up as tragic road accident victims and he enjoyed the advantage of living right next to the river with all the wildlife and fun available!
He really was a brave cat too. When we first got him as a kitten he stood up to all the adult cats in the street and soon gained his place in the hierarchy!
Soon after Jess (my daughter) got her dog we (Greg & I) decided we wanted a dog too and felt we could give a home to a rescue dog.
We called the dog home and gave our specifications ...... including the fact that we had children (teenagers), a dog already and a cat! The woman we spoke to accepted what we said but also seemed quite dismissive over the phone and just said to "come over and fill in a form". Which we did.
We arrived and saw several dogs .... some a little shy, some perhaps a little aggressive, others looking quite forlorn ..... deciding which one to choose was always going to be hard ! However, we had our criteria and thought that this would help narrow our choice. We looked at a terrier/patter-dale mix. He was lovely, very friendly and very cute. He did had several nasty scars on his face and her explanation was that possibly he had been used for badger baiting!
This should have rung alarm bells ..... but it didn't .... we assumed that the criteria we had spoken about and written on the form, would have been looked at and the dog we chose would fit that criteria.
HOW wrong could we be ........... we walked through our front door, thankfully with "Bobby" on a lead ..... he saw the cat ..... and just flew at him! The cat screeched and raced up the stairs BUT as soon as he realised the dog was on a lead he stopped at the landing, arched his back and spat back at the dog.
Hmmmm, this was not going to be an easy introduction !!! We slowly introduced "Bobby" to Billie - Jess's dog - and that was fine although I think Billie was a bit perturbed that the leader of her pack (i.e Scamp) had not been impressed. We kept the dog ONE night but in the morning .... Scamp wanted to come in for his food ..... and the dog went mental at Scamp again. Scamp jumped up on the kitchen counter and stood his ground but it obviously was not gonna work out.
We called the dog home and explained this to the lady & told her we were bringing the dog back. She was most put out and actually seemed quite cross with us - at first refusing to refund us our payment - to which we stated that we had put on the form AND told her verbally that we had to have a dog who got on with cats!
Her response ............... "get rid of the cat"
I am surprised my husband stayed as calm as he did .......... who the heck did she think she was ?????
Greg simply said - the cat was there first - we informed you of the criteria - give us our money back or we report you for fraudulently passing on an unsuitable animal (yes.... I am not sure who exactly he would report her to ... but it worked ...... or maybe it was just his menacing tone and looks!)
So Scamp remained to rule the roost ..... and perhaps the best tribute of all is that we now have a dog that purrs.......seriously ...... when you stroke Harley - and he is in a blissful mood - he ACTUALLY purrs!
RIP SCAMP x
Sad as I was, I am happy that he led a very full and adventurous life. He lived longer than any of my other cats who all ended up as tragic road accident victims and he enjoyed the advantage of living right next to the river with all the wildlife and fun available!
He really was a brave cat too. When we first got him as a kitten he stood up to all the adult cats in the street and soon gained his place in the hierarchy!
Soon after Jess (my daughter) got her dog we (Greg & I) decided we wanted a dog too and felt we could give a home to a rescue dog.
We called the dog home and gave our specifications ...... including the fact that we had children (teenagers), a dog already and a cat! The woman we spoke to accepted what we said but also seemed quite dismissive over the phone and just said to "come over and fill in a form". Which we did.
We arrived and saw several dogs .... some a little shy, some perhaps a little aggressive, others looking quite forlorn ..... deciding which one to choose was always going to be hard ! However, we had our criteria and thought that this would help narrow our choice. We looked at a terrier/patter-dale mix. He was lovely, very friendly and very cute. He did had several nasty scars on his face and her explanation was that possibly he had been used for badger baiting!
This should have rung alarm bells ..... but it didn't .... we assumed that the criteria we had spoken about and written on the form, would have been looked at and the dog we chose would fit that criteria.
HOW wrong could we be ........... we walked through our front door, thankfully with "Bobby" on a lead ..... he saw the cat ..... and just flew at him! The cat screeched and raced up the stairs BUT as soon as he realised the dog was on a lead he stopped at the landing, arched his back and spat back at the dog.
Hmmmm, this was not going to be an easy introduction !!! We slowly introduced "Bobby" to Billie - Jess's dog - and that was fine although I think Billie was a bit perturbed that the leader of her pack (i.e Scamp) had not been impressed. We kept the dog ONE night but in the morning .... Scamp wanted to come in for his food ..... and the dog went mental at Scamp again. Scamp jumped up on the kitchen counter and stood his ground but it obviously was not gonna work out.
We called the dog home and explained this to the lady & told her we were bringing the dog back. She was most put out and actually seemed quite cross with us - at first refusing to refund us our payment - to which we stated that we had put on the form AND told her verbally that we had to have a dog who got on with cats!
Her response ............... "get rid of the cat"
I am surprised my husband stayed as calm as he did .......... who the heck did she think she was ?????
Greg simply said - the cat was there first - we informed you of the criteria - give us our money back or we report you for fraudulently passing on an unsuitable animal (yes.... I am not sure who exactly he would report her to ... but it worked ...... or maybe it was just his menacing tone and looks!)
So Scamp remained to rule the roost ..... and perhaps the best tribute of all is that we now have a dog that purrs.......seriously ...... when you stroke Harley - and he is in a blissful mood - he ACTUALLY purrs!
RIP SCAMP x
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Easter Sunday
We have always enjoyed Easter ........ another stalwart in the circle of life !
When I was a regular church-goer it held a very spiritual meaning for me, as it should for Christians. It still has that spiritual aspect for me - but now, it is more about prioritising family time. Don't get me wrong ...... I have not lost my faith .... just my belief in the Church "establishment" and a healthy curiosity regarding some aspects of a male dominated doctrine ............... ANYWAY ......... this blog is not about that !
The whole weekend always has a special feeling as Danny was born on a Good Friday ... so quite often we celebrate his birthday around the Easter weekend too. As we did yesterday, today and will probably carry on tomorrow !
The kids have had an Easter egg hunt at Grandy's house since "forever" and even at adult ages ...... it's not quite an Easter egg hunt ... but this morning they still had to find their individual Lindt bunnies ! There are too many of us now to have a sit down roast, so Grandy has adapted and does a "buffet" style meal of baked potatoes, chilli, tuna & pasta bake, pizza slices, salmon and various salad bits n bobs .... It goes down really well! My brother and I provide desserts and it gives us all the chance to just get together!
So .......... I felt a bit guilty today for arranging a visit from an Anglian Windows representative, for this afternoon. It felt as if I had violated the day, not just for Greg & I but for the sales rep too. I am still not sure why I agreed to it for today ..... I think I was just trying to get rid of the man at the door (we are looking at getting quotes as our double glazing has "blown" anyway). After our lunch at Grandy's ... I got back home in time for the appointment.
The rep turned up a little late with an immediate apology for being ;
a) late and
b) in his jeans ........
his subsequent explanation was that his baby daughter (3 weeks old) had been sick all over him and his suit trousers!
I felt even worse, thinking I had taken him from family time with his own new little family ! Thankfully though I had pre-warned him (when he called to check the appointment time) that we really weren't interested in sales "spiel" and just wanted a basic quick visit and bottom line figure.
I think that must have suited him too ... as he kept the appointment as short as possible and after about half an hour (that included measuring up the windows round the house and getting him a cuppa) he was done!
I can only hope for his sake that we were preferably his only or at least his last customers of this Easter Sunday, so he could go and enjoy the rest of his day with his family.
As we did ours !!
Hope you all had a good Easter! x
When I was a regular church-goer it held a very spiritual meaning for me, as it should for Christians. It still has that spiritual aspect for me - but now, it is more about prioritising family time. Don't get me wrong ...... I have not lost my faith .... just my belief in the Church "establishment" and a healthy curiosity regarding some aspects of a male dominated doctrine ............... ANYWAY ......... this blog is not about that !
The whole weekend always has a special feeling as Danny was born on a Good Friday ... so quite often we celebrate his birthday around the Easter weekend too. As we did yesterday, today and will probably carry on tomorrow !
The kids have had an Easter egg hunt at Grandy's house since "forever" and even at adult ages ...... it's not quite an Easter egg hunt ... but this morning they still had to find their individual Lindt bunnies ! There are too many of us now to have a sit down roast, so Grandy has adapted and does a "buffet" style meal of baked potatoes, chilli, tuna & pasta bake, pizza slices, salmon and various salad bits n bobs .... It goes down really well! My brother and I provide desserts and it gives us all the chance to just get together!
So .......... I felt a bit guilty today for arranging a visit from an Anglian Windows representative, for this afternoon. It felt as if I had violated the day, not just for Greg & I but for the sales rep too. I am still not sure why I agreed to it for today ..... I think I was just trying to get rid of the man at the door (we are looking at getting quotes as our double glazing has "blown" anyway). After our lunch at Grandy's ... I got back home in time for the appointment.
The rep turned up a little late with an immediate apology for being ;
a) late and
b) in his jeans ........
his subsequent explanation was that his baby daughter (3 weeks old) had been sick all over him and his suit trousers!
I felt even worse, thinking I had taken him from family time with his own new little family ! Thankfully though I had pre-warned him (when he called to check the appointment time) that we really weren't interested in sales "spiel" and just wanted a basic quick visit and bottom line figure.
I think that must have suited him too ... as he kept the appointment as short as possible and after about half an hour (that included measuring up the windows round the house and getting him a cuppa) he was done!
I can only hope for his sake that we were preferably his only or at least his last customers of this Easter Sunday, so he could go and enjoy the rest of his day with his family.
As we did ours !!
Hope you all had a good Easter! x
Monday, April 2, 2012
Our House
......in the middle of our street ..........(OK ..... so you have to know the song !)
As the last blog was about the flat, I thought this one should be about my home now - because this also has quite a story behind it !
Way, way back in the early 90's, the region on the river side of this area, was being developed - although most of it had already been built upon - a new cul de sac emerged.
We still lived in the flat with Jess and Gina but regularly used to go house "window shopping". For the majority of the time we knew we could not afford the houses we looked at ... but we could dream ...... and think about the possibilities that may be available in the future.
I think I may have been pregnant with Dan at the time when we looked at the show home down this cul-de-sac. This show home was a 3 bedroomed one that had already been built but the rest of the area was a building site ... so we took away the site plans.
Mark said something on the lines of - "WOW - look at that corner plot - that house has a great patch of land, and what a view"
Somehow that stuck .......... even while he was still alive, we carried on our weekend hobby - looking at other sites and new homes but none of them seemed to match up to our dream location - backing onto the river, close enough to all amenities and a nice quiet closed road for the kids to play in.
Then he was in the accident.
The house hunting hobby stopped completely. I was stuck in our one bedroomed flat on a weekly Widowed Mother's Allowance ..... with very little hope for moving on my agenda.
Unbeknown to me ...... at the same time, the original building firm that owned the site had gone bankrupt - 16 houses had been built .......... but they left 5 empty plots........... including the right hand corner plot.
I was progressing through the whole legal process - yes there was compensation due - and believe me that took its toll ....... 3 years of trawling through paperwork and tracing people Mark had worked with. Claim and rejection, re-negotiation and heartache.
He died in August 1993. By the spring of 1996 things were looking fairly promising, on the financial front. We had a date for the hearing at the Old Bailey and I was beginning to get a bit desperate to move out ........ the girls were 7 and 5 and Dan was 3, yet they were still sharing the bedroom. PLUS ....... my back was killing me from sleeping on a sofa bed for 3 years !!!!!
So I optimistically began looking at houses again - I had a pretty good idea of the money I may be able to put down and really wanted a new build ....... so looked at the property section of the papers.
To my amazement there was an advert for new houses in the cul-de-sac ..... OMG ......... for the same 3 years as I had been in grief and limbo - the site had been left - there had been a recession - and a new buyer had only just purchased the site .......... to finish the last 5 houses.
I would have enough money ..... when the claim came through ........ I was so happy - that very plot that Mark and I had dreamed about together could actually be mine !!!!!
I visited the nearly finished house ........ and put in an offer with the builder!
BUT nothing is simple is it !!
The court date was put back ......... and then another couple put in a higher offer ...... I was gutted .......... it felt like the dream home was slipping out of my hands.
Thankfully I had family --------- where would I be without them ---------- 2 members of my family in particular gave more than just moral support and encouraged me to raise my offer and deal with the court delay (and subsequent delay of any payment) in due course. I was supported in an application for an interim payment (which was successful) and supported financially (for until the compensation claim was completed)
The builder took my offer and agreed NOT to accept a higher one (from the other couple) in exchange for a quick sale.
OUR dream home was actually "ours" !
We moved in, in the August/September of that year ...... the compensation claim was finally completed around the same time and life ......... started another journey.
As the last blog was about the flat, I thought this one should be about my home now - because this also has quite a story behind it !
Way, way back in the early 90's, the region on the river side of this area, was being developed - although most of it had already been built upon - a new cul de sac emerged.
We still lived in the flat with Jess and Gina but regularly used to go house "window shopping". For the majority of the time we knew we could not afford the houses we looked at ... but we could dream ...... and think about the possibilities that may be available in the future.
I think I may have been pregnant with Dan at the time when we looked at the show home down this cul-de-sac. This show home was a 3 bedroomed one that had already been built but the rest of the area was a building site ... so we took away the site plans.
Mark said something on the lines of - "WOW - look at that corner plot - that house has a great patch of land, and what a view"
Somehow that stuck .......... even while he was still alive, we carried on our weekend hobby - looking at other sites and new homes but none of them seemed to match up to our dream location - backing onto the river, close enough to all amenities and a nice quiet closed road for the kids to play in.
Then he was in the accident.
The house hunting hobby stopped completely. I was stuck in our one bedroomed flat on a weekly Widowed Mother's Allowance ..... with very little hope for moving on my agenda.
Unbeknown to me ...... at the same time, the original building firm that owned the site had gone bankrupt - 16 houses had been built .......... but they left 5 empty plots........... including the right hand corner plot.
I was progressing through the whole legal process - yes there was compensation due - and believe me that took its toll ....... 3 years of trawling through paperwork and tracing people Mark had worked with. Claim and rejection, re-negotiation and heartache.
He died in August 1993. By the spring of 1996 things were looking fairly promising, on the financial front. We had a date for the hearing at the Old Bailey and I was beginning to get a bit desperate to move out ........ the girls were 7 and 5 and Dan was 3, yet they were still sharing the bedroom. PLUS ....... my back was killing me from sleeping on a sofa bed for 3 years !!!!!
So I optimistically began looking at houses again - I had a pretty good idea of the money I may be able to put down and really wanted a new build ....... so looked at the property section of the papers.
To my amazement there was an advert for new houses in the cul-de-sac ..... OMG ......... for the same 3 years as I had been in grief and limbo - the site had been left - there had been a recession - and a new buyer had only just purchased the site .......... to finish the last 5 houses.
I would have enough money ..... when the claim came through ........ I was so happy - that very plot that Mark and I had dreamed about together could actually be mine !!!!!
I visited the nearly finished house ........ and put in an offer with the builder!
BUT nothing is simple is it !!
The court date was put back ......... and then another couple put in a higher offer ...... I was gutted .......... it felt like the dream home was slipping out of my hands.
Thankfully I had family --------- where would I be without them ---------- 2 members of my family in particular gave more than just moral support and encouraged me to raise my offer and deal with the court delay (and subsequent delay of any payment) in due course. I was supported in an application for an interim payment (which was successful) and supported financially (for until the compensation claim was completed)
The builder took my offer and agreed NOT to accept a higher one (from the other couple) in exchange for a quick sale.
OUR dream home was actually "ours" !
We moved in, in the August/September of that year ...... the compensation claim was finally completed around the same time and life ......... started another journey.
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