Sambuca Nights and the Walk of Shame

As some of you may be aware I am a bit busy at the moment! 


Kovu was re-admitted to hospital with low blood sugar and an infection, so - I am posting the blog I had prepared last weekend and will get back to you all in a few days ! ..........


Friday night I stayed at home (it was nice - the kids came round for a Chinese).   Saturday night I stayed home (also nice, chilled, TV, kids came round later on).


In fact, it occurred to me that actually ....... most weekends - I stay in ....... and am glad of it too !


Less than 6 years ago I was out just about EVERY Friday and Saturday night ..... and loved that at the time as well.


Everything has it's time and place.


When I was 17 - 23 I was out most nights - not just weekends !! Not necessarily always partying or drinking but just out. Mark was in several pub teams - skittles, pool, darts. He was also in a 5-a-side football team and a cricket team in the summer so we rarely spent time at our respective homes. 


Then we moved in together and I became pregnant almost immediately!


I spent the next 5 years pregnant ....... well it felt like it LOL ..... So of course then we only really went out for specific events - birthdays, weddings, engagement parties etc.


Having young children at home isn't a restriction but it was a choice. We still found times to go out when either of the grandparents or sisters-in law where happy to sit - but I often found that I really didn't want to leave the children that often!


Then, as the children got older, I discovered the real advantage of babysitters ....... I had some fantastic free sitters (as mentioned above) and then 6 brilliant sitters (nieces, friends and neighbours) who charged only a small amount for their time.


With a regular rotation I found that I could happily go out at least once a week without that guilt feeling that accompanies us poor mothers ! (Jess take note x !) I began to enjoy just going to the pub again and once a weekend would meet up with a different set of friends to "party"!


Then ......... that golden moment when Jess was old enough to look after her brother and sister ..... they were all brilliant and were all  happy to be "in charge"!


Unfortunately, at the time I was in a relationship that was not good. I found myself going out most Friday and Saturday nights (at the partner's insistence - it was one of those classic "controlling" relationships) and then the guilt did come back - once a weekend seemed fine - but not both nights !


This continued for  a couple of years until I finally realised the relationship was flawed and began distancing myself. However, as anyone will know, when a relationship is going downhill you do turn to good friends for comfort and ..... even as a Mum.... that will often involve a good night out with a few drinks! 


I am not a drinker - in fact the phrase "taxi for Jane" was coined during this time. At Midnight, even when friends would still be able to party till the early hours of the morning, I was all pooped and ready to go. This group were very supportive and always made sure I was safely in the cab on the way home.


Until the Sambuca night - we've all had one - and believe me ..... it was one of those brilliant nights that I will be grateful for - for letting my hair down at a bad time.


BUT boy, oh boy was I hammered !!!!  These friends took me back to one of their houses and decided I should not be left alone. One of them slept downstairs with me to make sure I would be OK and another called Jess (16 by then) to check that she was alright and offer to sleep at mine with her, if she needed. She was fine though and my friends told her they would call her again in the morning. 


To my shame I did not recall any of this (I was flat out in the garden ..... for some reason !!!!)


Hilarity aside (and it was hilarious looking back - just ask that group of friends!!!) I awoke in the morning with that sense of dread and "oh what have I done ?!!!!"


At about 8am on a beautiful, bright, sunny Sunday morning I walked home - still in the clothes I had worn the night before, teetering gingerly on my high heels (thankfully my friend lived just up the road)


As I walked into my street I realised this was the 3rd time in my life I had done the walk of shame - that's fine in your late teens, early 20's BUT I was nearly 40 for goodness sake !


I did giggle a little ...... I walked into the house as Jess was answering the phone to my friends who had "lost" me (also hilarious at the time) but knew I would be making my way home and cleared up with them that I was fine before hugging my daughter.


Happily, my well-grounded children saw the funny side, knowing some if the stress I was under at the time!


I did decide then that actually - going clubbing at 40 was great fun ..... but I have been there, done that, got the t-shirt and no longer feel the need.


Would I still be doing it if I was single? ..... I don't know, possibly..... it certainly kept me slim .... all the dancing etc ...... but as I say - a time and place for everything and actually, I think I had an extended "teenage" time to most really. 


I am happy that I can look back on the brilliant memories - but wouldn't swap it at all now for my cosy nights in - watching TV, reading a good book, watching a good film or chatting with my grown up children, with Harley tucked up beside me, and Hubby reclining in the sofa !

Welcome to the world !

Well, I actually had today's blog almost ready in draft ........ I had prepared it yesterday and just wanted to tweak it ..... all about my Sambuca nights - that will have to wait!!!!


I got a phone call at 4.34 am. And life changes all over again!


Perhaps not quite so much for me - I have now attained that slightly different role of being the grandmother!!!


Jess had woken with her contractions coming very fast. I suggested she and Ayden make their way to the hospital. I didn't rush. I got to the hospital at 6.30am and missed the birth by just 3 minutes!


I am glad though in a way - it would have been marvellous to have seen my grandson's birth but actually ....... it is good that it was that private moment between the couple who have created the new life.


BUT to be there so soon afterwards was equally wonderful .... and such a mixture of emotions. I already feel love and a bond with this little chap ... yet he is not mine ... I know that he will be well cared for and loved ... I have to let go and let them grow in their parenting!


That's tough !


Yet I am so proud of them both already and can't work out whether to laugh or cry (with tears of happiness)


It is a very VERY happy day !!! 


Happy birthday Kovu Mark Daniel Goodwin-James - 5lb 7.5oz - 3/10/11 

Migraines

They are a nightmare!             I think I suffer with them. 


I actually have not been officially diagnosed by the doc - and probably should check this out - but having self medicated for 7 or 8 years in a manner that seems to work, I am reasonably happy. 


I know I get headaches that if not caught in time lead to me actually being physically sick. I don't get the "lights" but I do get an "aura" They are definitely stress related as I suffer less when not stressed but they are also hormonally related - you know what I mean !


Anyway - I now have a list of triggers .... 14 of them ...... and I try to be aware of a build up of any of these 14, as it seems to be a mix of any 3 together that can trigger an attack.


Seriously .... that is easier said than done !


There I am, visiting a couple of friends and they offer A COFFEE - simple - I forget to check if it is decaffeinated - add that to ... say ... a late night the night before and then some glorious unexpected sunshine (yes .... tell me about it ...... I am a major sun worshipper ... and one of my triggers is sunshine!) and BANG - I get the blitz ! 


I do try to monitor myself .... really I do .... but you can see my difficulty. 


Needless to say I nearly ended up with a migraine tonight - thankfully I also know the warning signs so I can take a tablet in time to ward it off but, as I stated, with at least 14 triggers and any combination of any 3 it is pretty hard to keep on top of.


I therefore buy several packs of my tablets in a year. So, when I popped to my local pharmacy to pick up some more tablets today, I noticed that on this occasion the pharmacist did not do the usual spiel of:

"have you taken these before" 
"are you taking any other medication" and 
"don't take any more than x in 24 hours"


I came to the conclusion that she is fed up with asking me and must think she knows me well enough by now !!!