Court Appearances

Watching a court drama the other day I hooked on to one of the characters, stating she was terrified of just going into the court ..... let alone giving evidence.

I recalled how my "witnesses" felt a similar fear, when they were due to give evidence on behalf of Mark's "character", for our claim at the Old Bailey.

True ..... the British Courts of Justice in London is quite an imposing building ....... and just the whole formality of the place is intimidating .... but thankfully, even though I am a very anxious person by nature and of a nervous disposition ..... the court atmosphere was not one I was overly concerned about ..... and that was a blessing. as I really could have been in bits due to the circumstances.

I was very lucky as a child, that my grandmother worked at the Bedford Magistrates Court. In fact, I believe when she worked there they had a Crown Court status and tried some big cases. 

I used to go and visit her, in her role as Court Usher, and on several occasions was allowed to sit in the public gallery and watch a case unfold. Although I was quite young at the time it was a real education and I knew to sit still and behave impeccably or I would be sent out immediately!

Then when I was older I actually worked in the fines and fees department of Bedford Magistrates Court myself. Sadly, although I thoroughly enjoyed the processes, I did not enjoy my job and did not feel part of the team at the time ..... (they were very "clicky" and I had been bought in to assist someone who did not really want to have assistance so that set me off to a bad start). However, I used to have to pop into court proceedings every now and then to update magistrates with information or to confirm payments were being made regularly etc and I loved all the pomp and ceremony of it !!

So then my worst experience of being in court was of course hearing the sentencing for the boy who killed Mark. He was found guilty of Death by Dangerous Driving but there were mitigating circumstances, so his sentence was reasonably lenient. 

This was in the days  before they had Victim Support, before they segregated the defence from prosecution clients or witnesses. 

In fact we went to the cafe and found ourselves almost next to the lad and his family and friends ..... it could have been a nightmare and it was difficult BUT.......... it was OK .... it was just the way things were back then. Again ..... I did at least have my previous court experiences to alleviate any anxiety about the processes and that made a huge difference for me.

When we went to the Old Bailey I confess, I was actually really excited ... nervous of course about the settlement but genuinely excited to be going to the top court in the land .... I felt quite comfortable in the building, although being respectful of course ... but I had not realised this fear that the whole process was producing in my character witnesses, 3 grown men, genuinely worried about standing in the witness stand.

My solicitor was very used to this reaction and immediately set them at ease by asking for us to visit the actual court room we would be in. I was probably a bit insensitive initially but did notice the younger one (he was about 30 at the time) actually shaking and suddenly realised the impact this whole formal procedure was having on them and how easy it had been for me, thanks to my past experiences.

As it happened the insurance company made a last ditch offer and we did not even have to enter the court room .... the process is that if we settle out of court ..... even by 5 minutes (and it was about 15 minutes) then court costs are hugely reduced ....as an incentive to get as many settlements out of court as possible.

I am so glad my Granny worked in the courts and I had the knowledge and experience of the processes BEFORE having to undergo it, during a time of huge emotional stress...... and my heart goes out to those whom we see leaving the Old Bailey, or any other court, who by the very nature of being there, are already emotional and anxious, without the added concern of the whole intimidating process. 

But I have to add ..... and this may be another blog ...... I have also been a Juror and if there was ever the possibility of having professional paid Jurors .... That would be a job I would LOVE ..... I absolutely enjoyed my time as a Juror and would gladly do it again ..... 

So maybe I'm just a "court geek" and that's probably why I love watching court dramas on TV !

You know you are middle aged when .........

With apologies to my parents (although when you talk to them they have embraced a second childhood !!!)

Yes .... you know you are middle aged when:

• Your brother celebrates his 50th birthday
• You find hairs where there just shouldn't be hairs (WTF is it with chin hairs on a woman !!)
• Worse still .... they are grey or even white !!!
• You take your dog for a walk after a week off (Greg was on holiday and doing this last week) AND ......even though you have only done the mile walk ............your legs are telling you to go home !
• You crave your thermal vest in the cold weather

You are a NANA !

• You realise that this year is the 30th anniversary of you leaving school
• A good night out is actually a good night in !
• In April ... your youngest leaves his teenage years behind !!
• At an old school reunion you wonder who all these middle aged women are ....... and then look in the mirror
• You give up on wearing high heels ..... thank goodness kitten heels are in fashion !
• The fashion industry is conspiring against you ..... I'm sure the clothes sizes are getting smaller !!!

BOOBS !!!! What the hell happened to you !!!!!!

• Your husband has to ask you to translate at the cinema cos his hearing is dodgy !
• Or ... he keeps pausing and rewinding the TV .... "I didn't catch that"
• My handbag doubles as a medicine cabinet
• After a day at work I come in ... sit down ..... flick on the TV and have a cuppa .... and that is BLISS
• You look back in a diary of 10 years ago and think .... how the hell did I fit all that into ONE DAY
• You rest in between bits of housework .... no longer hoovering the whole house at a time .... upstairs ..... rest  ..........then downstairs !
• You would exercise .... but it gives you a headache !

My Brain ...... can anyone tell me where that is ?? Or at least locate my memory .... please ...

On the plus side ..... 

• I love (almost) every minute of it ..... life is too short not to enjoy these intriguing aspects of age!
• My husband still loves all of me ... including the wobbly bits
• THANK GOODNESS I don't have to exercise like I used to ..... I do the odd bit now and then but my headaches are a great excuse these days !

I LOVE my grandchildren ....... and I can give them back !

• I am more confident in many ways ..... 
• I am not a slave to my money ..... my bank manager may not think the same but I don't worry as much !
• CONTENTMENT is seriously underestimated .... 
• Not having to date ..... thank heavens for my DAH !
• Not needing to compete with drinking games etc .... I never could hold my drink LOL
• Having 3 wonderful grown up children to chat to.

Yep ..... I know I am middle aged .....and am quite enjoying it !